The 6 most gloriously absurd quotes from Bob Carr's memoir.

Former foreign minister and NSW premier has released a memoir titled Diary of a Foreign Minister.

We thought about writing a funny intro into this list of the best quotes from the memoir. But, sometimes the jokes just write themselves…

1. On sleeping in (taxpayer funded?) business class and why it doesn’t compare to first…

“No edible food. No airline pyjamas … I lie in my tailored suit.”

2. On when Henry Kissinger invited him to exclusive millionaires’ retreat, Bohemian Grove:

“I popped two Normison [sleeping tablets] to smother the excitement.”

3. On his critical process of self-assessment:

“I’m the best chairman I know.”

4. On his diet and exercise regime:

“My ambition… [is] to have a concave abdomen defined by deep-cut obliques.”

5. … Still on his diet and exercise regime:

“Every meal the Foreign Minister is served bland steamed white fish. This apparently reflects a Fuhrer-directive that I had the department send out about my diet. But whoever drafted it overshot the mark. I want turkey, I want grass-fed beef … This is the new Fuhrer-directive.”

6. On transforming from Clark Kent into the protector of Metropolis:

“I am Foreign Minister… I soar above the mundane and serve my country.”

That you do, Bob. That you do.

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