I was barely 13 years old when my mum’s gynaecologist, who became mine by default, prescribed me the pill. Painful period cramps, weight gain, rollercoasters of emotions; it was enough to convince the doctor I should be popping those pills like orange flavoured Tic Tacs.
I was a moody teenager as it was, so I’ll let you imagine what it was like to dare address me in prime PMS time. You’d get an eye-roll filled "whatever" at best, and a fit of tears and screams and "nobody-understands-me" tirades on my top-performing days.
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So when the doctor wrote the prescription for the pill, everyone was happy. I thought I’d lose 10kg overnight (those daily Snickers bars had nothing to do with my weight gain after all!), my uterus would stop practicing for another career as a contortionist, my parents would still be annoying losers but I wouldn’t mind as much, and -cherry on the cake - I wouldn’t have to worry about contraception for when I was ready to "give my flower away".
A few years went by, a few florists came along, and I recommended the pill to all my friends. It’s so easy! You can take it continuously, choose when to have your period, and even choose not to have your period at all! One pill a day, and all your troubles go away.
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