Okay okay okay, just from you reading that headline we’re already off to a rocky start.
Please don’t judge me. In fact, let it be known that I, Michelle Elizabeth Andrews, HATE regular cricket.
“Cricket is the absolute worst,” I have announced with fury from the moment I popped out of my mother. “I would rather chew on a damp sock than watch a second more.”
Bleh. Glurg. Ergh. Djhghelegj. No thank you.
Decades later my partner, of course, has tirelessly tried to convince me otherwise.
“Just give it a chance!” he’d say, struggling to pull his eyes away from the zinc-clad men with their dumb baggy greens and red-stained crotches on the telly. “It’s actually really enjoyable when you know all the rules!”
What an idiot.
No I will not enjoy it, Mitchell, if that is your real name. I WILL NEVER ENJOY IT. Do you want to know why? Because it is cricket. And cricket is the worst thing about summer. Apart from bum sunburn. And maybe cicadas.
That’s why, when he flicked the telly to Channel 10 last night and proudly announced “The Big Bash League has started again!” my stomach churned.
Grreeeeeeeat! More cricket to join the never-ending test matches, and the one dayers, and the blah blah blah cricket is dumb and boring please just let me watch Netflix and eat Maltesers in peace.
I got up to walk away, feigning crippling sleepiness at 7:30pm.
But… hang on a second. The cricket humans aren’t in their bizarre white uniforms anymore. They’re not wearing those lame green hats, either. There’s music in the background. GOOD music! There are firework sparkler thingy-majigs spurting fire! The commentators don’t sound like they’re on the verge of death! That dude with the dreadlocks just hit a six! And a four! He’s doing the moonwalk! Now he’s out! And another wicket! The bowler is on a hat-trick! What in the banana is happening!
I liked Twenty20 cricket, you guys. I bloody liked it. I lapped up the entire match, positively enthralled by the sporting spectacle for hours.
For those of you who have never watched a match, here's the deal:
- Each game is MUCH shorter than every other form of cricket - with 20 overs for each side (each over has six balls) a match lasts about two and a half hours. Translation: you'll still get time to watch The Crown, and he won't be tied to the TV all day and night. Ca-ching.
- Adelaide, Brisbane, Hobart and Perth each have one team, while Melbourne and Sydney have two each, meaning almost every Aussie can get on board and become a supporter.
- For pretty much every summer night from now on (with the exclusion of Christmas Night etc, obvs) games are played on Channel 10.
For the record, I still hate regular cricket with the fire of one thousand suns. HOWEVER, when it comes to the Big Bash League? I am totally, completely, 100 percent on board.
I recommend you give it a squiz, too.
For more sporting greatness from Michelle Andrews, follow her on Facebook here.
Top Comments
Totally agree - however, WBBL is the way forward. Those women rock!
It's not for women who don't like cricket; it's for people who don't like cricket. But thank you for reiterating societies idea that women aren't serious sport players and fans, and that we need it dumbed down to enjoy.
Hi Willow, I'm actually a huge sports fan myself. I played netball semi-professionally for years, and am a gold member of the AFL's Richmond Football club. I more than understand women can love sport, because I love it.
Or readership is predominantly women, therefore I write for women.
Thanks xxxxx