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To those who are new to the game: Welcome, welcome, welcome. Best and Worst is a longstanding Mamamia tradition. Let me explain how it works.
Every Friday we bring our community together to reflect on the week that was. We ask you to tell us your highlight (your ‘best’), your lowlight (your ‘worst’) and your OMM (what’s ‘On My Mind’).
I’ll get us started.
Best: I had the most ridiculously luxurious massage this week at Sydney’s Signature Day Spa. I’m generally not a massage person because ‘relaxing’ isn’t something I do well (and I also have seriously ticklish feet).
As a result I generally spend the whole time tensing up and willing the masseuse not to go near my toes in case I break into hysterics. But these guys were great. They took excellent care of me, made me feel like some rich and famous superstar and were very polite (and didn’t laugh) when I explained that it would be better if they avoided the entire sole-of-the-foot area.
Worst: Flying. I live in Melbourne but work most of the week in Sydney, which means I am regularly on and off a plane. I am usually okay(ish) with planes but since the terrible news about the missing Malaysia Airways flight, I’ve been terrified of being in the air. Is anyone else having trouble flying?
OMM: Daniel Morcombe’s amazing family. Watching his mother and father address the media yesterday was truly gut-wrenching. It’s got me stuck on the idea that terrible things often happen to the most loving, wonderful people. I just hope that the conclusion of the trial gives the family some type of closure and they are able to find some joy in their lives. The way those two parents fought for and loved their son both during his life and after his death, are pretty inspiring.
Enough from me. What’s your week been like?
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Worst: Had to stop breastfeeding my gorgeous,chubby 9 months old baby girl. A medical condition I have has had a major post partum flare and I'm on 10 tablets a day to get it under control. Baby has coped just fine, but I'm struggling with losing that physical connection to her :(
Best: Seeing Democracy at work in Tasmania. I am hoping to see Tasmania come into more stable economic times.
That sucks KM, it's upsetting when the decision is forced on you like that. I had the same when my eldest was 10 months and I had to take that drug to dry up your milk bawled my eyes out. It is that closeness you miss. He did just fine. With my second I couldn't wait to get him off....he fed for 2 years and wouldn't take a bottle I was over the cliseness haha!
I need some advice (again)
My boyfriend is 34 and I'm 31. We've been together a year and two months. From the moment we met we discussed buying a house, marriage and kids. He was the most perfect amazing boyfriend ever. After 6 months he moved into my house (hold your negative comments) and we've had the most wonderful time living together. Two months ago, just when we decided on a house to buy, he tells me he wants to be with me forever but isn't ready for the house/marriage/kids as I'd been pressuring him and wasn't sure when he'd be ready. Instead he decided to go overseas with his mate to play sport for a month. I decided I loved him, that I had been pressuring him, and that I was happy for him to follow his dream of going os.
Fast forward to now.... I'm still struggling with his revelation. 2013 was the best year of my life, having spent it with him, and it upsets me that things have changed. He always used to say that he didn't want our relationship to go backwards, but now I feel that it is at a standstill. I have sacrificed so much for him and get nothing in return- I let him move in when he didn't have a job, do all his cooking, cleaning, washing, would do anything for him. He has started playing sport about 20 hrs a week so he isn't really home, especially on weekends. We sleep in separate beds as he can't sleep if he shares, he spends a lot of time in his room, we hardly ever go out and do things as he is saving for his trip. I am not ok that he can do all this plus have me wait for him to be 'ready' one day (if he will ever be). I've tried to talk to him but he always gets annoyed and tells me he's never met anyone so needy. I know in my heart what I should do, but part of me is hoping things will go back to how they were. He tells me he loved me all day every day, but I'm just feeling so unloved. There's not point talking to him about it, I have to make a decision.
Read your post back - if this were a friend of yours saying this to you - what would be your advice?
Be kind to yourself. This f*wit is using you. I know that sounds harsh but it's true - all the red flags are there - sleeping alone, a lot of time in his room, out all weekend playing sport. You're convenient while he follows his dreams - and yes you are getting nothing in return.
You deserve far, far better than this dork.
I'm really sorry to say this as I know you love him but he is totally using you. He has told you that he's not ready and he will put oceans between you. The fact that he's got everything at home worked out to suit himself with no thought to you says it all. What do you get out of this arrangement aside from hurt and doubt? Don't be a doormat guys don't respect that. Cut your losses let him go on his trip and live your life but don't wait for him. Do you really want to live like this ?
You know the decision you have to make, you need the courage to actually do it. I know my biggest mistake at times is always thinking "but it was so good" be it a job I started resenting a relationship or a friendship. Don't waste your time and value yourself enough to end the relationship. You deserve more and are worth more. Good luck
" I let him move in when he didn't have a job, do all his cooking,cleaning, washing'.......Um really? You know what you need to do. Just do it. You will be fine, you really will.