sex

"5 daring places I've used my vibrator (and why you should always carry one)."

It’s the 21st century. Birth control is accessible, there’s a sex position for every angle, and vibrators come in all sizes. Some are as long as your arm, and some are as small as your thumb. Bullets are easy to conceal and often inexpensive. Some even look like lipstick, keeping your pocket-pleaser top secret.

I learned the value of these technological delights early in my adult years. They’re a great solution to many of my ailments. Whether I’m frustrated, sick, stressed, bored or suffering from insomnia, an orgasm is often what cures me – or at least takes the edge off.

LISTEN: Don’t have a vibrator? Apparently, our houses are full of sex toys. Post continues after. 

So, I snatched up a few bullet vibrators and started carrying them around with me. Orgasms at my fingertips – talk about a quality-of-life breakthrough. In fact, I’ve used my chick stick in all kinds of places, with very satisfying results. Here are a few of the daring places I’ve gotten off – and why you might want to do the same.

The ‘Privacy’ of My Car

“Vibing in traffic” as I like to call it, is a great way to break up the rush-hour blues. You’re stuck in gridlock, and the only thing on the radio is Justin Bieber on repeat. Don’t fret, you’ve got your mini missile for these occasions. I’ve kept my sanity through many Los Angeles rush hours this way. And it’s OK if you’re a screamer; people will just assume you’re singing along with the Biebs.

Fair warning, though: If you pull your vibey little friend out in the middle of traffic, some people can see what you’re doing. I learned that the hard way. I don’t have tinted windows and was parked next to a semi truck on one occasion. I’m not averse to a little voyeurism so it didn’t bother me that much. But, Mister in the semi got a full-on show of my vibrasm.

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Among the Bibliophiles in the Library

It’s not what you think. I wasn’t reading romance novels, I swear. I was studying for a philosophy exam. If David Hume doesn’t get you going, that’s your problem. I’m kidding. My study session left me fantasizing, and I had to take care of the creeping arousal before it threw my entire midterm out of whack.

The sensible thing to do in this case would be to go to the restroom. But, well, I don’t do most things the sensible way. (That explains the degree in philosophy). I’m not crazy; I didn’t yank it out in the stacks. I snuck inside the door of a study room and took care of it. Next time, though, I’ll actually close the door. When I sneaked back out, a few people were giving me funny looks. Like any good-natured college student, I blamed it on my friends. “Ugh, she won’t stop calling!”

 

The Apex of a Mountain Summit

Lovers of the outdoors might be familiar with the state of arousal you feel while you’re adventuring. You know, all that adrenaline, dopamine and other feel-good hormones coursing through your body. Scientists have shown that it's possible to “misattribute” this arousal as sexual.

It definitely works for me. When I’m climbing a mountain, I’m excited to reach the summit. By the time I get there, I can hardly keep it contained. Since I’m often alone, there’s nobody for me to misattribute my arousal to. It's just me. That’s why I always carry my trusty bullet in my pack. It weighs almost nothing and serves a useful purpose. Pull that baby out, vibe away, and I’m ready to set up camp or head back down with a clear head.

Getting My Swole on at the Gym

Anyone who's had a piercing knows how sensitive a body part is after the piercing. Clitoral hood piercings are no different. Walking the wrong way can cause the pinching of a thousand scorpions - or an unexpected orgasm.

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I was in a vertical position, legs hanging, when it happened to me. (Some call this exercise the "captain's chair." ) I raised my knees to my abs a few times and felt something building deep inside. Ab orgasms (“coregasms”) are real, and this one was coming on fast.

What to do? My solution was waiting for me in the locker room, where I grabbed my tiny tickler, headed for the showers, and finished the job the Captain started.

Amid the Cheers at a Baseball Game

It’s incredible how easy it can be to vibe the bean in a crowd of thousands and be discreet. Most people don't notice what’s going on around them. That said, I’m not suggesting you publicly expose yourself, OK?

Now, I’m a fan of an out-of-state team and sometimes I score free tickets. So, when they play in my area, I sit with the home team. Rooting against a sea of exuberant fans is thrilling, but walking into that situation can rouse the nerves. That's why I always have my little friend to relieve anxiety. Since there were so many people around, I opted for a nipplegasm. The nipple stimulation was enough to calm me so I could be the best fan possible. And I did it all without a peep or second glance from anyone around me.

Keep on Vibin'

At any given time, I own about 10 pocket rockets. Two for the car (in case one dies). One for my gym bag and one for my purse. At least three for the bedroom. One stuffed in the sofa cushions. One for the bathroom, and one in a secret place I keep to myself. Maybe I have a problem. Maybe I’m lazy. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ve tapped into the solution to all of life's problems. At any rate, it can't hurt, and it usually helps. Seems like an easy choice to me.

This article was originally published on Kinkly. Read the original article