ROAD TEST: I tried Dumb Blonde, the duo that promises to neutralise brassy hair.

You know what I personally do not have time for? 

Brassy. Goddamn. Tones. 

Like I'm busy? And you're rude? And extremely inconvenient. 

Most blondes (okay, mostly artificial blondes... which is pretty much all of us) know that the very decision of being blonde comes with the ever-present threat of brassiness. Let me explain. 

You go to the hairdresser. If it's a nice one, they give you wine (I only discovered this at 30). You might give them instructions like 'ashy,' or 'bright,' or 'platinum,' or 'natural'. They paint your strands and maybe put a toner and a treatment in, and it costs you one million dollars and 76 hours of your valuable time. But you leave feeling great. 

Then you wash your hair. 

Then you wash it again. And again. And again. 

Then just when you least expect it, it happens. 

Is that an unwanted warm tone because I think it might be.

Your hair turns brassy, and the worst part is that it doesn't all turn brassy. Oh no. Just parts of it. So you now have a mixture of white and yellow and who knows what else and it's a petty problem but it's real.

Of course, this is the point where most of us go and buy a toner and/or purple shampoo. But like everything in life, it's not that easy. Because as previously stated, you've spent one million dollars on your hair. And you want to wait as long as possible before you have to drop another mil, so you have to get this right. The wrong product and you have damaged hair, or it goes completely silver (been there), or parts of your hair lift and others don't.

I can say with near certainty that if you've heard of a brand of blonde shampoo, I've tried it. Some are better than others, but until now, I hadn't established a monogamous relationship with one. 

Dumb Blonde

The Dumb Blonde No Yellow duo pack ($31.95) consists of a shampoo and a mask - both reformulated to revitalise and enhance the colour for blonde and silver hair. The violet pigment neutralises yellow tones, and nourishing ingredients like chamomile flower extract keep the hair strong and healthy. In the mask, colza oil helps to heal the ends of hair and keeps the hair static free (i.e. not frizzy) which is a big plus for me. 

The Dumb Blonde duo. Image: Supplied. 

Dumb Blonde is also vegan friendly, cruelty free and made in Australia.

A couple of tips before we get into my road test:

1. This product actually works, which means you can't go rogue. The shampoo has been formulated with a semi-permanent violet dye that has the strength to last in the hair for up to 8 washes. That means you have to be mindful of excessive use and over toning. I used Dumb Blonde on alternate washes from my normal (non-pigmented) shampoo. 

2. Again: violet dye. So use gloves if you're worried about staining. 

My review

It's a Friday afternoon and my hair is in a... state. 

Goodness. Image: Supplied.

Sort. It. Out. Image: Supplied.

And luckily, I have a new hair product to try out. 

I get in the shower ready to try the Dumb Blonde shampoo and mask, and yes I obviously have disposable gloves. Because it said I needed them on the packaging and if this product can fix my hair I will follow all the rules. 

I apply the shampoo to wet hair and massage it into the scalp and roots, leaving in for approximately 2 minutes. The instructions say you can leave in for 2-5 minutes, but I've been told before that my hair absorbs colour very quickly, so I decide to be cautious. 

The scent, by the way, is delicious. Tropical but not overpowering. 

I rinse, and then apply the mask, with the gloves still on. I distribute the mask evenly throughout my hair, and leave in for 2 minutes. 

As I rinse it out, I notice that my hair already feels soft and knot-free, which is rare for me. I have fine, knotty hair that sometimes gives me grief, but clearly the mask was hydrating enough to get it to... chill. 

Once out of the shower, I leave my hair to dry naturally. And pause. 

Hi, would you like a full-time job on my head? Because you can have it. Image: Supplied.

Never, in 30 years, have I been able to predict how my hair will dry. Sometimes it's frizzy. Sometimes it has nice curls? Sometimes it's straight. It's honestly anyone's guess. But I'm assuming it has something to do with the products I'm using to wash it. And after using Dumb Blonde it dried nice and wavy??

As soon as my hair was properly dry, I noticed the colour. 

My. Colour. 

A slightly ashy, mostly bright blonde. 

THIS ONE. THIS COLOUR. Image: Supplied.

Over the next week and a half (I wash my hair every 2-3 days), I alternated between the Dumb Blonde duo and my normal shampoo. It seemed to maintain that bright blonde tone, get rid of the yellow, and nourish my hair so that I actually liked how it dried naturally. 

Here's my hair after about a week of using Dumb Blonde (and for context, it's been straightened, but then worn in a messy bun all day. Because of course):

DAT TONE. Image: Supplied.

Yasss. Image: Supplied.

My attempt to show how even the colour is. Image: Supplied.

I'm obsessed. It's exactly the product I was looking for. 

I plan to keep using the Dumb Blonde duo and adjust the frequency depending on when I get my hair coloured next. 

But at this rate, it won't be for a while. 

You can buy the Dumb Blonde No Yellow duo pack here.