The very real dangers of Survivor.

Australian Survivor made its much hyped return this Sunday, since that… awkward attempt at the series back in 2002.

And two episodes in, it may not have won the ratings, but it’s got our vote. It’s everything we love about Survivor, from the strategy (i.e. the scheming and manipulation) right down to the iconic tiki torches and bandannas.

On the latest episode of The Binge, Rosie Waterland and Laura Brodnik dissect the opening episodes and share what they really think about the characters, the challenges and the mental warfare.

“You can tell that Queen Sandra Sully has taken the money away from The Bachelor this year and given it to Survivor, because it is schmick!” says Rosie.

And she’s right. Channel 10 have pulled out all the stops with this one, it’s got high production value and it certainly doesn’t look cheap. These contestants look well and truly stranded. Someone send help!

As if to prove the very real danger, one guy even went and got himself injured in the first episode by sticking his hand in the fire. Poor foolish Conner.

“There’s still a slight element of danger even though we know they’re probably not going to die,” says Laura.

This is real stuff people. The contestants DO get hurt.

Although if the contestants don’t find food in their foraging, they’re given at least a bare-minimum calorie meal. Rice, a piece of bark or something equally bland and unsatisfying. So at least we know they won’t die of starvation.

But the biggest danger to the Survivor contestants? Their near-nudity. All of social media wants to know, where the bloody hell are their clothes?

@Survivor_AU why does no one have the smarts to wear a hat and a long shirt..its the tropics?

— Michelle Rebecca (@MichelleRebecc1) 21 August 2016

And let’s be honest, this is what it’s got us thinking…

I have a suspicion there is a kickass waxing salon somewhere between Saanapu and Aganoa. #survivorAU

— Pip Doyle (@Pippy_la_rue) 22 August 2016

“Are they not getting sunburned? And getting bitten by mosquitoes? Should they not be covering up with light layers?” asks Laura.

Someone needs to get over there pronto, with a care package filled with zinc, legionnaire hats and rashies.

Yes, nudity is a trademark of Survivor (remember Richard?) and the sun is beating down, but these contestants could really benefit from some sensible cargo pants and a bit of slip, slop, slap.

If I went on #SurvivorAU I’d rock up dressed exactly like Kat but I’d also have a Tiki cup filled with Midori pic.twitter.com/tDF0Nh7qn1

— Nick Bond (@bondnickbond) 21 August 2016

But Kat covered up in a sun-smart kaftan and the world’s largest hat, looking like she’s off on a fabulous vacation, and she became the laughing stock of Twitter. And so did the bloke in the business shirt. I guess you can’t keep everyone happy.

Stay safe, survivors.

You can listen to the full episode of The Binge below and subscribe in iTunes for frank, funny and smart conversations about the most binge-worthy new shows.