Welcome to another episode of best and worst of the week, where we share the highs and lows of the week and everything that’s on our minds.
If you’ve never commented before, now is the time! It’s like therapy, only much much cheaper.
I’ll go first.
Best: I’ve spent the last week hanging out in Dubai. The UAE was never a country high on my list of places to go in the world, but my cousin has been living and working there so I decided to go and say hello. And I absolutely loved it. I spent most of the week picking up my jaw off the ground – everything is so shiny and new. It’s like Disneyland or Las Vegas on steroids. There are malls with ski fields in the them! And aquariums! And ice skating rinks! I may or may not have spent two whole days in one such mall eating cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery (which I thought was only in New York) and emptying my wallet at Top Shop, H&M and Zara.
Worst: My tooth. I was at a hotel and idiot that I am, I ignored the obvious signs that said ‘NO DIVING’ and dived in anyway. My bikini top came down mid-dive – and being in a Muslim country I instinctively pulled it up – and hit my face and tooth on the bottom of the pool while doing so. NOT FUN. The funniest thing was that when I got out of the pool, I was so concerned about my tooth and scrapped chin – I didn’t realise my bikini top was still sitting around my waist.
Worst #2: The desert safari driver who drove away and left my tour group standing in the middle of the Arabian desert. No explanation, just got in the car and drove away over the dunes and out of sight. I’m still not sure if he was trying to be funny or whether he was just a jerk. Funny now, but at the time – not so funny!
Now it’s your turn. Tell us your best and worst and what’s on your mind. We’re all ears.
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OMM: I've been with an amazing guy for a few months now. We are talking very seriously about the future, being together forever.
He is the one for me. But I also desperately want a child and a family. He is older than me and says he is ambivalent, but thinks he would make a good dad. The only other time it was mentioned he said something slightly negative. I said I want children, but I'm not sure if he realises how seriously I mean that. I'm worried he may think he can change my mind.
On top of that I can only have a child one way. Through gestational surrogate. I don't quality for adoption (even if there were babies) and I can't have my own pregnancy. When do I raise all of this? We are making some serious plans right now. I don't want to get down the track and in a year's time have my heart broken because he won't have a child, or will only have one if it's easy and my way is too hard. I know we could afford gestational surrogacy, it's the emotional commitment I wonder about. I only want one child.
What do I do and when do I do it? Help MMers!
I feel somewhat experienced to comment on your dilemma. When I first started seeing my now husband he too was pretty casual about the whole baby thing. Despite knowing I wanted to have a child I was pretty cruisey about it with him. I'd come out of a very sad and upsetting divorce (my ex husband had an affair) and I was low in self esteem so consequently I didn't want to scare him off. In hindsight I do wish I'd had the confidence to be stronger but that wasn't to be.
Fast forward 8 years and we are now happily married. My biological clock started ticking very loudly and even though my husband wasn't that keen he acknowledged that he "didn't have a reason not to have a child" and he knew it was important to me. It wasn't that I set out to change his mind it was just that I was fortunate that he could see how important it was to me. We are now in our 3rd round of IVF. Basically I'd left it too late to conceive naturally (though it's still possible) and so IVF is our best chance. I try not to have any regrets and I'm confident I will fall pregnant BUT I would have saved myself some heart ache had I not been more assertive and confident all those years ago. I don't dwell on this, it is what it is, but my advice to you is speak up, be honest and tell him how you feel. If he's the man for you then it will all work out.
Worst: I had a real estate inspection on Monday. My sister once tried to reassure me by reminding me that my idea of messy is 90% of people's idea of neat, but that doesn't help. My anxiety levels were through the roof and I worked my arse off catching up on vacuming and mopping that hadn't been done in too long. My boyfriend is a bit clueless about housework but offered to do anything he couldn't stuff up. Then he was working on a different schedule to me (we hadn't discussed time expectations) - he wished I'd sit & rest while I wished he'd get working.
Best: The estate agent was in and out in ten mins and admired a photograph on my wall. And having a clean house is so nice. And my boyfriend did help keep me relatively sane. After the inspection, we went up the street too a nice cafe for lunch. :-)