By NATALIA HAWK
A couple of weeks ago, I made a decision that is starting to keep me awake at night.
I decided that I’m going to do a 9km run in September. A race with hundreds of other people. Across the Harbour Bridge.
A race that’s timed and everything.
Some of you might be sitting there reading this going, “What’s the big deal? I run 9km all the time. 9km is actually quite a short stroll for me, really.” To you people, I say: Leave me alone. Because when The Man Upstairs Or Whoever was handing out running genes, he skipped over me.
I am fabulous at snorkeling and I am also unbelievably excellent at memorising useless song lyrics. But running is on a different planet. I have dabbled with it many times – but I am to running what fish are to the Tour De France.
It is simply not meant to be.
But because I am impulsive, because I like signing up to things, because I think the Harbour Bridge is pretty, because I am a sucker for events that come with a free t-shirt, because I don’t have enough things to do in all the spare time I have between working full time and studying full time – I SIGNED UP FOR A 9KM RUN.
Hear that? It’s the sound of me heading into full-on panic mode.
I even started compiling a list of the ways I could get out of the running festival. Adult chicken pox seemed like a good excuse – everybody knows how serious that can be. I also had a parasite not so long ago, so maybe I could just resurrect the parasite for a weekend?
But then I decided that I needed to eat a giant bowl of cement and put my Nike “JUST DO IT” face on. Seriously, there are nannas out there that can run 9km. Surely I can do it too.
So here the list of things I’ve been doing to prepare myself for said 9km run…
1. Find a friend.
I bullied a friend into signing up for the 9km and running it with me. I highly recommend this, because it means that you have someone with which to discuss how long it could possibly take the average person to run 9km. (I thought it would be around four hours. But last year, the run’s average time was 62 mins – which just shows you how much I know.)
As a bonus feature, my friend is equally nervous about her running ability – so we’re going to train together. This will mean that I will not want to punch her in the face when we’re doing laps around Centennial Park and she still looks like Jennifer Hawkins while I closely resemble Chewbacca.