'We thought our relationship counsellor was meant to be. The truth was more sinister.'

When Cassie* first met James* four years ago, they'd both come out of long-term marriages spanning more than 20 years each.

That meant they both had their fair share of baggage, and more than a few sensitivities that were easily triggered.

Wanting the best for their relationship, the couple decided to seek out a couples' counsellor to ensure they remained on the right track.

Watch: This woman decided to try open marriage for 12 months. Article continues below.

As a starting point, both Cassie and James sought out their own therapists, and agreed to meet each one, and make a decision from there. James chose a male therapist, while Cassie chose a woman, but after meeting them both, they felt an instant connection with the man — especially Cassie, who felt as though it "was meant to be".

"The day we met Kade*, there were some uncanny similarities," said Cassie. 

The first was his reference to mountaineering — he told her he'd be "sherpa" for their climb. And as an avid mountaineer, Cassie took this as a sign.

"It felt too good to be true. How did we find this person during COVID, who can see us in person, is nearby, and he's going to be our 'sherpa'? It was music to my ears that everything was going to work out perfectly."

During their next session, Cassie discovered that she and Kade shared the same birthday. 

"I was like 'OMG, not only have we found this person, but they're going to be our sherpa, and he has the same birthday as me. I'm someone that easily gets a bit romanticised about things, and so this felt like fate, and we made the decision to go and see him."

Kade told the couple he followed the Gottman Method, which also appealed to Cassie for their goal of building on their current relationship. During the first session, they delved into the method, and Cassie left feeling as though Kade was ticking all the boxes.

A shift in focus.

After a couple of sessions, though, Kade's focus shifted. Instead of building on their current relationship via the Gottman Method, he started focusing on their past relationships — something they specifically didn't want to do.

In particular, Kade seemed to be focused on James' past, but rather than honing in on his strengths, seemed to be delving into his sensitivities and fragilities.

"What I noticed was that he was shining a light on those issues in our sessions, but he wasn't doing it to the same degree to me. Instead, he talked me up a lot, and focused on our differences."

During an individual maintenance call, Kade told Cassie she was incredible, an amazing communicator, but that her partner would likely always find relationships difficult. 

"He was planting the seeds to both of us that our relationship wasn't really right."

During their next session, Kade spoke to the couple about their individual hopes and dreams. 

"I was in my late forties, so I was talking about how I wanted to pursue a career in counselling but didn't know where to start. He told me he could see an opportunity for me working from within his office space. He said he'd refer people directly to me and manage my client base."

He also offered her cheap rent, along with free guidance and mentoring.

"It was looking pretty good for me as far as the role this counsellor was playing in my life. I was feeling pretty boosted up by this," said Cassie.

A bizarre twist. 

Over time, Kade's individual calls to Cassie became more frequent; the compliments too. At one stage, when Cassie mentioned she was looking to re-home her son's difficult dog, Kade even offered to take the pet on, and make him their shared therapy dog when she moved into her office space.

At the time, Cassie simply saw the offer as another piece of the puzzle of her life falling into place.

"I wanted to work in counselling, and the pathway was just getting made out for me. He's giving me an office space, clients, and now I don't have to give my dog away.

"So, now my counsellor has my dog."

The sessions continued, with Kade building Cassie up, and dragging James down — but he was no longer subtle about it. "By now my sense of belief that our relationship can work was faltering. And so was my partner's," Cassie told Mamamia. 

The couple spoke about Kade's focus on James' negative attributes and the fact that their plan to follow the Gottman Method had been all but forgotten. They sent an email to Kade, reinforcing their goals, and requesting they circle back to their original plan. Which they did — for a few weeks.

On the day of Cassie's birthday — and Kade's birthday, according to him — they decided to attend an appointment that had been previously booked. But that morning they argued, with both questioning whether or not their relationship was working. 

"We were tired, we didn't know if this could work. We wanted it to, but it was just hard."

The beginning of the end.

When they arrived, Kade brought out a little cake with a candle in it to celebrate their birthdays, before Cassie and James shared their struggle. After asking them about their feelings, Kade suggested that maybe it was time for the pair to call it quits — right then and there. 

Blindsided, the couple tearfully agreed, and James went home, leaving Cassie alone with their counsellor. 

"He sits down and says to me, 'I know you're upset right now, but you have just dodged a bullet' — but I still loved James.

"He then receives a text message from James explaining that he'd baked a mountain cake for me, and did I still want it. I said, 'Yes, of course'. But I would find out later, that Kade told James that I didn't want it."

Kade then offered Cassie a hug. Without thinking amid her devastation, she agreed, but almost immediately regretted it. "He sits down again and looks right at me and says, 'You don't need to worry about anything because I'm going to be your rock now.'"

Kade then told her he wanted her to continue seeing him — free of charge.

"You can see me whenever you like, as often as you like," he told her, staring into her eyes. "I will be here for anything you need. Do you understand what I am saying?"

He offered to teach her and her son how to sail, and reiterated his offer to work together from his office. And while she tried not to jump to conclusions, the truth was beginning to dawn on Cassie.

The truth revealed. 

After leaving Kade's office that day, Cassie's head was spinning. 

She switched her phone back on and began fielding calls and texts from friends and family wishing her a happy 50th birthday. But. after telling a friend what had happened that morning, including Kade's offer to teach her son to sail, something clicked.

"I know a Kade who sails," her friend told her. "He's a complete womaniser."

Cassie was stunned.

"I had put my trust in the counsellor above the trust I had in my partner. He had this position of power and I was just like, 'What has just happened?' Everything — from him being our 'sherpa', to us having the same birthday... and now he owns my son's dog."

Without hard evidence, Cassie sent Kade a text message thanking him for everything, listing everything he offered her, in the hope he would confirm in writing — which he did. But when she began to investigate ways to report him, Cassie discovered Kade wasn't a registered psychologist. In fact, he wasn't registered with any professional body.

With no clear way to report him, Cassie decided to put the experience behind her, but the impact has been long lasting. "I've always been trusting, and this threw me for six," she says.

"I always held people in this professional area in such high regard. But he took advantage of our flaws and vulnerabilities to manipulate and orchestrate our sessions."

Cassie says she wanted to share her story to let anyone else going through a similar experience know that they're not alone.

"Something has shifted in me since that experience. I'm a more cautious person."

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons. 

Feature Image: Getty.