The best parents are the ones who don’t have children. I was a perfect parent once. I knew exactly how kids and parents should behave and I shared my grand philosophies with anyone who was interested and many who were not.
Then I had babies and it all went to hell.
I was reminded of this a few weeks ago when I read an interview with former Olympic swimmer Elka Whalan (nee Graham) who is pregnant with her first child. (update: Elka just gave birth to a little girl called Nevada, congratulations to the whole family). Elka is lovely. I’ve met her several times and I’m sure she’ll be a terrific mother.
However I couldn’t help but hoot tea through my nose when I read about how she and her husband planned to travel through Europe with their brand new baby. “I can’t wait to be a mum,” she enthused. “This little munchkin can sleep or cry but it will be coming with us whatever we do, wherever we go…. I have the philosophy the baby will fit in with our life – not the other way round!”.
Is there a pregnant woman (or expectant father) alive who hasn’t said those same words? Surely it’s right up there with “I’ve written a birth plan” as bravely optimistic but ultimately futile declarations made by people who have no idea what they’re talking about.
Pregnant women are understandably hopeless at predicting what their lives or even their days will look like after a baby arrives. And this can make it impossible to know how much maternity leave to take. I vividly recall arguing with my boss about this. “Look, I’ll need 12 weeks tops and I’ll work from home during that time,” I insisted as she shook her head. “What else am I going to do? Babies sleep all day anyway, don’t they?”
Top Comments
I have always been one of those people that can't leave the house without my make-up on. And despite having 2 kids under 2 I have managed to keep this up (although sometimes it means strapping the kids in their carseats and putting my make-up on in the car out the front of my house). I think it's all about your priorities and if your priority is a shower and make-up in order to feel like your former self then it's possible.
Gggrrrrr. That is all.