A comically bad photoshoot.
A few things photographers ask you to do, before bringing a newborn to set, is to have them awake for two hours prior.
Sounds simple enough but you know if you have a newborn, especially one under 10 days old, they do not have a routine yet and your day consists of feeding on demand, cleaning up huge amounts of poo, wondering whether you’re a good enough mother to keep them alive for another day, and wishing you could have a glass of wine.
Evi slept for 3 hours prior to the shoot. And I slept for 2 of those hours, because, hey when baby sleeps, I’m going to try and get a nap too. My husband Chris actually woke us when he got home from work to take us, and so she was wide awake and starving.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t feed her long enough as the shoot had to be really quick, and thus started the worst newborn photoshoot in history...
She shat on the white sofa as soon as I undressed her.
Nothing mistakes that newborn mustardy baby sh*t that leaked straight out of her bum, onto the white cotton sofa. Awesome.
She sh*t on me.
As I was cleaning said sofa, I then had soft, warm baby poo all down one left of my new pants I just got in the mail. Lucky they were black.
She sh*t on the purple set.
As soon as they took her over to curl her into the cute newborn naked pose, she sh*t on the set. Then cried. Because my baby hates being naked.
She cried and sneezed constantly.
She was hungry for christ sakes... and she was born Cesar so she’s still trying to sneeze out all of the vernix and crap from inside her. Oh, and did I mention she was naked with strange people trying to arrange her into delicate little poses?
