Is it time for us all to get a bit more open about the baby naming process?
One of the longstanding traditions around babies is that you don’t tell everyone the name you’ve chosen until after the birth. Well, I’m not really big on tradition.
With our first child, my husband and I decided on the name years before she was born. With our second, who we knew was going to be a boy, we couldn’t decide.
Halfway through the pregnancy, I was having a party for my 40th birthday. I came up with the idea of putting together a shortlist of the names we were considering and getting our friends to pick their favourites. In the end we had about 20 names on the list. My brother-in-law, a passionate Labor supporter, insisted we include Kevin, while my two-year-old daughter wanted to put forward a few suggestions of her own, including the Play School-inspired Humpty and Scrap. (There were also plenty of acceptable names, like Finn, Zachary, Parker and Jethro.)
As well, my secret favourite was on the list. I hadn't pushed hard for it, because it was a bit different, but it was the name I really wanted.
Our friends numbered the 20 or so names in order of preference and then put their votes into a ballot box. At the end of the party we read out the number one picks. Friend after friend had picked my secret favourite. (I have friends with excellent taste).
The whole thing was just meant to be a bit of fun, but it gave me the confidence to really push for my favourite, and that's the name we ended up choosing.
I know it's traditional for the naming process to be a private matter between the parents, but there are benefits to putting potential names out there before you decide on one. That way, people are more likely to give you their honest thoughts (which you can choose to take on board or ignore). You'll also find out about any negative associations before it's too late.
The name you choose for your child is totally your decision. But you have to remember that your child is the one who ultimately has to live with the name, not you. They deserve to have a great name that most people are going to like and one that doesn't immediately invite teasing (although parents nowadays are much more likely to choose unusual names, so they don't attract the same kind of attention they once would have).
If you do want to keep the name you've chosen a secret until your baby is born, I would suggest these two things:
1) Google it. Make sure it's not associated with a celebrity who's likely to do something embarrassing, or a TV character in a show you hate, or a really irritating song that your child will have sung to them over and over. (I knew someone called Jolene who never quite forgave her parents.)
2) Check the popularity on a site like this one. You might find that everyone's mad for it at the moment, or that people went off it years ago (which could make it feel dated), or that it's currently more likely to be used for the opposite sex. Always handy to know.
As for my son, he's now four. So many people comment on how well his name suits him. Everyone seems to love it. Oh, except him. He now calls himself "Meow" and insists everyone else do the same. I guess no baby naming method is foolproof.
Did you tell people the name you had chosen for your baby before the birth?
Now I know you are wondering what my son's name is, but I have this agreement with him that I won't use his name. (Sorry.) Instead, CLICK THROUGH this gallery of the latest baby name trend:
Want more? Try: