The mother who won't put a trigger warning on her child's life.

Content warning — this article includes descriptions of trigger warnings.

Is this trigger warning in itself necessary? Well, it depends on the person you ask.

In theory, Rachael Casella is one of the many people who trigger warnings are supposed to protect. And yet, they sadly don't. Rachael is in her early 40s, and already she has been diagnosed with PTSD after living through numerous traumatic events, including the devastating loss of her child. 

Listen: The Mother Who Won't Put A Trigger Warning On Her Child's Life. Post continues after audio...

Rachael gave birth to a beautiful little girl called Mackenzie in 2017. Mackenzie had spinal muscular atrophy, and only lived for seven months and 11 days. 

"She was the love of my life, which I feel guilty about saying because I now have other children, but she just changed everything for me. She was pure perfection," Rachael tells Mamamia's No Filter this week.

"I still remember the moment the doctor said to us, 'It's terminal.' I froze and started to shut down. Then a couple of minutes went by and I got really upset."

Watch: if my brain could text me... Post continues below.

When you lose a child, it might feel like the world has stopped. But it doesn't, Rachael says.

"So often people say, 'How did you get out of bed Rach?' You've got no choice. I mean, I suppose there is a choice, as some people don't come through it, and they do take their own life. There were certainly times where I wished myself not to be here," she says.

"But then it became how are we going to celebrate her life and help others not go through the same thing. Then it became how are we going to get her siblings to live healthy lives — there was always something to fight for. It was my way of coping."

Today, Rachael is a mum of three — Mackenzie, and her two boys who are aged one and three. 

Rachael is someone who readily speaks about her daughter. She wants to keep her story alive. 

'Triggers' that remind her of her daughter can make her feel different ways. Sometimes, a positive memory is sparked by something she sees. 

Then there are the more negative triggers. References to hospitals, random social media posts, other bereaved parents reaching out to her. 

"My heart starts racing, I get really sweaty hands. My brain feels like it's a tornado. My thoughts just go around and around, and then the conversation that I have in my head won't stop for hours," she explains.

Yes, the triggers result in pangs of sadness and pain. But you can't hide from them, nor should you avoid any sort of negative emotion. 

"We can't avoid the triggers because they're everywhere. It's unavoidable. I don't want to have to put a trigger warning on a post or article I make about Mackenzie and her life and death to make someone else feel more comfortable."

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachael Casella (@mylifeof_love)

"I would say that 99 per cent of the time the people who want the trigger warning haven't experienced that level of trauma," argues Rachael.

"Most people in the child loss community do not want trigger warning on their children. We didn't get a warning that this was going to happen to us. We want to share our child's story, and to say 'put a trigger warning on it' tells me that you think my life is so bad, that it makes you uncomfortable. You can't curate the world on what's only positive."

Victoria Bridgland is a researcher who has done a definitive study on trigger warnings. 

Bridgland acknowledges that it's a very charged issue, and there are strong opinions on either side of the discussion. What she hopes to apply to the debate is a scientific lens, rather than an overtly emotions-focused one.

"There's two central arguments. One is that a trigger warning is avoidance. The other is that it gives people mental or emotional preparation," she tells No Filter.

Her work found that trigger warnings do not mitigate distressing reactions. Rather, it is more likely that trigger warnings lead to harm.

"When people see a trigger warning, they feel a little bit anxious about what's coming up. There's apprehension, anticipatory anxiety, something negative. When people see the content after that warning, it doesn't reduce any negative feelings towards it."

"I think we really need to shift the culture around normalising a lot of negative feelings. It's actually okay, it's normal."

Rachael says she has empathy for those with mental health issues associated with traumas they've experienced. She can relate to it on a personal level. But she still feels the same on this subject.

"I do take responsibility for what I consume. If I'm not in the right headspace, then maybe going on the internet is not the place for me," she says to Mamamia.

"I know that that can seem a bit harsh, and I really appreciate that society is more inclusive of people with mental health issues now. But the research shows that it doesn't work. And I just think that they're doing more harm than good."

Ultimately, not everyone will agree with Rachael. And that's okay.

But it's a worthwhile conversation — and one that is growing louder by the minute. 

You can listen to the full story on Mamamia's No Filter podcast now. 

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your general practitioner. If you're based in Australia, 24-hour support is available through Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyondblue on 1300 22 4636.

Feature Image: Instagram @mylifeof_love.

Do you have any Streaming Video Services in your household? e.g. Netflix, Stan, etc. We want to hear from you! Take our survey now to go in the running to win a $100 gift voucher.