Growing up, my wise mother gave me some sound advice that has stayed with me. ‘Give people the benefit of the doubt’, she said. We all want people to think well of us, and not ascribe ulterior motives to our behaviour.
In my twenties, my wise friend Hazel gave me some solid advice that has also remained.
‘Give people the grace to change’, she said.
We can all learn and grow, and it’s not fair to keep people boxed into expectations based on our experience of them years previously. Be wary if necessary, but try and be open to them having changed and evolved.
In my thirties, my wise husband gave me some equally useful advice.
‘Give people the opportunity to speak for themselves, if they want to’, he said.
‘And whatever the case, don’t assume what’s in their head.’
We can easily make the mistake of not providing an opportunity for dialogue, which often reveals the real reasons that underlie particular behaviours. Reasons and motivations may be significantly different to what we assume.
I recalled these various pieces of wisdom a few times in the last few years. There was the brouhaha over Julia Gillard’s ex-boyfriend’s misuse of a fund she had created as a lawyer in the 1990s. There was the issue of then opposition leader Tony Abbott’s reported behaviour in the 1970s. There was a policy back flip by Labor Immigration Minister Chris Bowen. More recently, scrutiny of Joe Hockey’s former advocacy of free university education has loomed large.
Although these issues will continue to be analysed, I don’t think I am alone in questioning the relevance of these events to contemporary Australian policy. Sometimes we like to believe we can infer all sorts of things about Gillard’s, Abbott’s or Hockey’s approach to political life, likely policy leadership or activity. Yet when viewed dispassionately, whatever happened occurred decades ago.
Top Comments
Sure it's okay for people to change their mind over a period of 20 to 30 or so years - but we don't expect someone to change their mind on fundamental issues from their declarations on election night to their very first budget less than a year later !!
"No cuts to education, no cuts to health, no change to pensions, no change to the GST and no cuts to the ABC or SBS." Tony Abbott, election night, 2013.
That's called 'deceiving the public,' or 'lying' in anyone's language.
Couldn't of said it better myself. I was thinking exactly this as I was reading Mamamias article. Look this was a plan from Liberals all along for Australia. If they wanted to fix the budget, they might have changed a couple of things. But the changes they are making is across the board. It leads me to believe that they want to Americanise Australia and this has been a thought process from Liberals for a long time. So therefore it was a total fabrication of what they told us before the election. If people say Abbott is a good man well that means that you enjoy being lied to.
The majority elects a govt so they can govern us. That means making decisions on our behalf and changing the decisions when required. What is hurting our elected govt is other parties ( greens especially) having a say. I did not vote for the greens, in fact hardly anyone did but somehow they are stopping my government from working. They stuffed labor up and they now continue their carnage of ilinformed , uneducated sensationalism. The Liberal party are the best thing for this country, In the eyes of hard working , tax paying people. The greens etc are for people who take far more than they contiibute.