Have you seen a lot Angelina Jolie, lately?
Have you seen her on a red carpet, flanked by her children, looking like she was dipped in molten metal? You know, like this:
Image: Getty Have you seen her signing copies of her book, Know Your Rights? Like, this...
Have you seen her pushing Salma Hayek's face into a cake at a very celeb-heavy birthday party?
Or dressed in a giraffe onesie for Halloween?
Yes, you've seen a lot of Angelina Jolie lately, and the reason you're noticing is that usually, you don't see Angelina Jolie at all.
One of the world's most famous women, Jolie, like her ex, Brad Pitt, is exceptionally good at disappearing. Being "notorious" for much of your life will do that to you. First, as the child of a famous father (John Voight was an alpha-male icon of Hollywood counterculture in the 1970s).
Then as the Next Big Thing (winning an Oscar in 2000). Then as the Wildest Child In Hollywood (kissing her brother on the mouth, running off with Laura Dern's boyfriend, Billy Bob Thornton, wearing his blood in a vial around her neck, speaking about drugs, bisexuality and sado-masochism in a way the world was not ready for).
Then as the world's most famous home-wrecker (hello, Team Ange, Team Jen). Then, as Hollywood's most committed activist-philanthropist (she's the head of a foundation to eradicate rural poverty in Cambodia, has worked with the UN for 20 years, is now a Special Envoy). Then as the mother of many (six children).
That's a lot. And that's not even mentioning that time she changed the way women got tested for cancer after she was open about her own double mastectomy and the subsequent removal of her fallopian tubes and ovaries. And that's even without her decision to stop being Lara Croft and start being the director of Foreign language films that deal with decidedly unsexy topics like genocide, and war.
Angelina Jolie, it has to be said, has remained unpredictable, principled and entirely original throughout her life as one of the truly Famous People.
But. Bizarrely, Angelina Jolie has an image problem. Because it doesn't matter how many literal lives you save, how many war-zones you visit, how many refugee camps you spotlight with your UN visits, how successfully you raised the awareness of rape as a war crime... if you 'stole' Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston, and then you break up and make the world believe he is a terrible father, the culture will not forgive you.
Image: Getty. It's an overused term, but your view of Angelina Jolie is like a Rorschach Test - what you see while you're staring at the mind-bogglingly beautiful ink blot of her face says much more about you, than her. What do you see?
A woman who can't be trusted with other people's husbands?
A messed-up Hollywood brat who knows how to manipulate in her favour?
A holier-than-thou virtue signaller who makes us feel crappy about our average selves?
A woman scorned, hell-bent on revenge?
Or, do you see a living embodiment of how impossible it is for women to ever, ever be good enough?
After all, if a UN special envoy with 60 field missions under her belt isn't doing enough to leave the world better than she found it, who is?
But it's this complicated soup of pop-culture emotions that have all informed Angelina 7.0: The Relaunch.
You see, the problem with Angelina's intensely private, life-behind-the -high-walls integrity act, is that it stops anyone from getting to know her. And therefore leaves all of the public sympathy and enthusiasm hanging out there in the breeze.
Listen: The Spill hosts discuss Angelina Jolie's debut at the Eternals premiere. Post continues below.
So what does Angelina's current relaunch signal she wants us to think about her, as she re-emerges from exile:
1. She's FUN.
Hence, the party pictures. Eternals is a big ensemble movie. It's a (so far) poorly-reviewed Marvel mega-flick with a LOT of other famous people in it - Salma Hayek, Gemma Chan, Richard Madden, to name but a few. And Ange wants you to know that she's just a knock-about part of the crew. That she's capable of being one-of-the-guys. Sure, she looks a bit awkward, and would probably rather be be discussing peacekeeping in the Middle East. But she has a SQUAD now.
2. Her kids LOVE HER.
Of course they do. Angelina's mother earth act is clearly the real deal. If you have too much time on your hands and no integrity (cough) you will find scads of behind-the-scenes video of these recent Marvel premieres floating around the Internet that show the ease with which Jolie handles and hugs and loves her gaggle of gorgeously grown-up kids. She clucks over them and beams at them and lets them wear her hand-me-downs. She takes them as her date because there's no-one she'd rather be with. And all of this is excellent fodder for the custody battle over these kids that has been going on for FIVE YEARS now. Brad wants 50:50. Ange does not. She's been kicking his judges off the case, and insisting her kids' voices are not being heard. And look, let's just be clear, presumably Brad could take them all onto a red carpet too, as long as they'd be willing, and there's a carpet big enough for them all. But he doesn't, and is that because the risk of child-father side-eye being caught on camera is just too great?
3. She's single
Angelina is dating her kids. Dating the UNHCR. Dating camel-coloured coats and the United Nations Declaration Of Human Rights. Dating making minimal effort for a costume party in a novelty onesie. Dating raising awareness around women's abuse health. Angelina does not appear to be dating... The Weeknd.
4. She means (serious) business
When you spent your 20s being treated as a joke by the industry you craved acceptance from, you go off and find yourself a new gang. And Angelina has an almighty, altruistic gang at the UN. She might as well be wearing a "I did it for the money" T-shirt on the Eternals press tour, because Ange doesn't really want to talk about the movie, any more than any of us do. No, Ange is expecting a call from the office of the UN Secretary General. Her newly-created Instagram account is all about human rights, not at all about breakfast. This is a star who has lost the will to pretend that she's "just like us". Angelina Jolie is nothing like us.
5. She's still got it.
The woman usually wears black polyester slacks and ballet flats. And then she pulled out that dress in Rome. The End. Here it is again, in case you forgot.
Image: Getty. Angelina is not done. She has kids to feed, and not only her own. She has wrongs to right, and missions to accomplish, and a whole third act to live out. Angelina needs to step out of hiding and into plain sight to get paid, to direct the spotlight where she wants it to go.
And this relaunch is just the beginning.
Feature image: Mamamia/Getty.
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