Everybody has a butt! Which is why anal play can be incredibly fun and pleasurable for everyone in the bedroom.
But for many, anal play can be associated with negative thoughts from the get-go - people are worried about pain or they might think it’s unclean. Sometimes folks are just a little freaked out in general about the idea of someone or something touching their booty.
And that’s totally okay! We all have different things that we enjoy and find pleasurable. If your partner isn’t keen on anal, then it’s important to respect their boundaries and understand that they just might not be interested.
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No means no. "I don’t think I want to" also means no. "I’m not sure" means no.
Communication is key - it’s always important to talk about anything new you’d like to try between the sheets, to ensure you are both on the same page and that anything happening is completely consensual.
Understand why they aren’t interested in butt stuff, and make sure you take the time to actually hear what they are saying. Any reason for being apprehensive is a valid reason!
Let your partner know why you’re interested in trying anal with them. Whether it’s the pleasure aspect, trying something new, or because you enjoy anal play alone. Explaining your point of view can work wonders and help them open up to it.
Education helps! Read about anal play and listen to podcasts that give sex and sexuality advice.
If you’re keen to explore anal, here are some of my tips.
Number one: Start slow.
Baby steps are key! Start by playing with fingers only - don’t introduce anal toys yet.
You might have heard it before, but I'll say it again for the people in the back: lubricant is CRUCIAL when it comes to any type of anal play! The anus is not self-lubricating, which means if you try to insert anything without a little extra help, it could be pretty painful for the receiver.
Lube will make everything easier and should prevent discomfort or pain. Anal lubes are specifically designed with a slightly thicker, longer lasting formula, to keep all your bits safe.
Number two: Bigger isn’t better.
When you’re ready to delve into the world of anal toys it’s important to start small and work your way up. They don’t call it anal training for no reason!
Starting with a training set can be a great option. These sets typically include three different anal plugs with a small, medium, and large size.