Dear Fred,
Unless you count that time I wrote to Michael J Fox in Grade 2, this is the first time I’ve written a letter to a public figure (Michael never wrote back and I don’t expect that you will, either.) Should I have opened with this letter with “How are you?” I guess if I’d started with that, you’d have to answer with “Prejudiced, backward and homophobic.” Because that’s what you are.
Federal Finance Minister Penny Wong announced yesterday that she and her partner, Sophie Allouache (yes, a lady) are expecting a baby through IVF and you quickly took the opportunity to speak out against this. You said it was “a very poor example for the rest of the Australian population.” You said that
Minister Wong’s decision to make the announcement about her partner’s pregnancy “just promotes their lesbian lifestyle…to make it natural where it’s unnatural.” You also said – and this one’s my favourite – “I’m totally against a baby being brought up by two mothers – the baby has human rights.”
Ordinarily, Fred, I wouldn’t give a flying continental what you think. Over the years that you’ve flapped off at the mouth I’ve tended to ignore your ramblings because while I’ve never agreed with them, they haven’t really affected me and I’ve always just dismissed you as a bit of a nutbar. But I couldn’t ignore what you said today, Fred, because last weekend I went to a birthday party.
A beautiful little girl named Jemma turned 1 yesterday, Fred, the same day you made your ugly comments. I went to school with her mummy, who invited me and my family to come over and celebrate. Jemma’s other mummy was also there, as was Jemma’s older brother and a whole bunch of their friends and family.
We ate party pies and sausage rolls. The kids tore through the house and around the back yard while the adults supervised and caught up over a few drinks. When the cake emerged we all sang Happy Birthday and gave three hearty hip, hip hoorays – just your standard one-year-old’s birthday party, Fred. And the birthday girl didn’t stop smiling the whole day.
I’m glad Jemma’s not old enough to read yet, Fred, because I know how devastated she’d be by what you said. To make it crystal clear for you how Jemma got here: Jemma and her brother share the same sperm donor dad. His sperm joined one mummy’s egg via IVF to make Jemma’s brother, who was carried and delivered by that same mummy. Three years later, the same donor’s sperm was used to fertilise the other mummy’s egg via IVF and made Jemma, who was carried and delivered by the same mummy who birthed Jemma’s brother. Got it? Read over it a couple of times if you need to, Fred. Unlike you, I think it’s important to take the time to understand.
If you wanted to be very strictly clinical, I guess you could argue that IVF is “unnatural” but that doesn’t make Jemma any more unnatural than an IVF baby born to heterosexual parents and I don’t think you’re suggesting all IVF parents are setting a “poor example.” No, Fred: I think you’re clearly saying lesbians are unnatural. And that’s a bloody shame.
Jemma’s mummies love each other very much: they’re one of the most adoring, devoted couples I know. They live in a “normal” house in a “normal” suburb, drive “normal” cars, wear “normal” clothes and work “normal” jobs. Are you picking up what I’m putting down, Fred? There’s nothing abnormal about Jemma’s mummies. (Except maybe the fact that they were forced to hide their relationship for a long time until they felt supported enough to come out, and the fact that one of them doesn’t go to mass anymore because of how the Catholic church views her and her family, and maybe also the fact that one of them wryly jokes that the reason seven houses in their street have gone up for sale in the time since she and her family moved in probably has something to do with them. But apart from that it’s all been sunshine and roses, Fred.)
You said you’re opposed to a baby being brought up by two mothers because the baby has human rights and you know what, Fred? You’re right: babies do have human rights. They have the right to be nourished, nurtured, and protected. They have the right to live as part of a family in a home that’s clean and safe. They have the right to be swaddled, cuddled, rocked to sleep and showered with kisses when their eyes open. They have the right to access their biological heritage when they come of age. Above all, Fred, they have the right to be loved. And there’s nothing to prove that a baby being brought up by two mothers would be denied any of those rights.
Like Jemma’s mummies, Senator Wong and her partner may not be in what you’d consider to be a “traditional” relationship, Fred, but that fact alone doesn’t mean they won’t make fine parents. And as I’ve just explained, it doesn’t mean that their baby will be denied any of its human rights. Like Jemma, Senator Wong’s baby has as much of a right to be brought into the world by two loving parents as you, a 76-year-old man, have to wear cable-knit cardigans. And I don’t see anyone telling you you’re setting a bad example for that.
I’m not sure how to end this letter, Fred. I think I signed off with kisses when I wrote to Michael J Fox but I don’t know if that’s appropriate here. On second thoughts, I did call you nutbar, didn’t I? Not to mention prejudiced, backward and homophobic. Ok, now it’s awkward. How about this: in the spirit of acknowledging negative labels, Fred (and I know you’re familiar with them) I apologise. What say we sign-off-kiss and make up?
Terri xx
Terri Psiakis has worked as a stand-up comic, comedy writer and broadcaster since 2000. She is an accomplished writer for both TV and in print, Terri worked on ‘Rove’ for eight years, currently writes a column for the Melbourne City Weekly and her first book, ‘Tying The Knot Without Doing Your Block’ was published by Random House in 2009.
This was originally published on Terri’s blog here and we republish with permission.
What would you want to say to Fred Nile?
Top Comments
I encourage you and all other ignorant bible literalists to actually read the bible and let it's words seep into your brain before you open your mouth. It's really sad that people dare use God's name to continually justify hatred and bigotry. You clearly don't actually know what it says in regards to homosexuality. How do you feel about child slavery? Well, according to the bible, it is okay. The bible also presents multiple scenarios in which murder was acceptable. Have you ever used a condom, birth control or pulled out? That is grounds for murder, according to the bible. Do you know that homosexuality is mentioned in less than .1% of scripture? Arguably, most of those aren't even about homosexuality, but have been twisted into something more sinister to push an agenda. In the eyes of God, divorce and infidelity - which are often the product of lying, which is also a sin - is considered to be worse. Why isn't that the charge of anyone's political cause? Why do we not stand in the streets and spit on those that destroy the sanctity of their marriages? They are given the opportunity to wed and they defile it, why is that more okay for people such as yourself than homosexuality? Do you know what else is considered "an abomination"? Eating certain very common foods, most of which I'm sure everyone has eaten and eats on a regular basis. Words have changed meaning since the time the bible was written, so what was considered an "abomination" then and what the word means now are two entirely different things. The truth is that the bible is being used as a tool, by tools, and instead of educating themselves people just latch onto things without furthering their own knowledge. Religion is causing this world to be led down a path of self-destruction and people really should get their priorities straight.
Live and let live. I am straight and was raised by a man and a woman. As long as the parents are loving, kind and good.. who cares what gender they are. Children need love. We should be more concerned about children without parents or kids from broken homes that suffer in silence that are beaten, starved or die every day than we should be about a child raised by two women. Priorities, people, get some.
It's so easy to just let that term 'homophobic' roll off the tongue and use it against someone else's viewpoint to cut them down, isn't it? As a man who believes in God, Fred's convictions tell him he must alert people to what he understands as God's truth, which is, that homosexuality is, like murder, thieving, lying, cheating, etc, a great big fat sin and that God hates all sin. Believe it or not.