Hello, Christmas Shoppers.
We, the retail workers, write this letter to you in a time of dire need.
You see, our feet are burning. Our ears are ringing. Our minds are playing a monotonous loop of Mariah Carey‘s All I want for Christmas. We haven’t seen our families in weeks. We’re existing solely on a diet of Schnitz chips and Coke Zero. WE ARE BLOODY EXHAUSTED, OKAY?
You see, overnight trading hours (AKA 36 hours of pure, unadulterated hell) are imminent. And after that? Boxing Day (AKA the day we fight the urge to stick coat hangers in our eyes).
That brings me to our collective plea to you, Christmas Shoppers. You see, you can help us.
Why? Because you’re the ones who are SLOWLY BLOODY KILLING US.
Listen up, ya filthy animals. We are sick of you. Yes, y-o-u. We’ve had enough, and it’s time for you to hear the cold hard truth.
See that neatly folded pile of T-shirts in perfect size order? We just spent the last 37 minutes immaculately sorting them to our narky area manager’s impossibly high standards. When you waltz over, and fling them all over the shop and floor, a small but very real piece of our soul dies.
This is not a farm. Have respect for the stock and try to retrieve your size without leaving the area looking like a crazy-ass mountain goat on Stilnox was just let loose.
Top Comments
Put a smile on your face.
Don't take your filthy mood out on me.
And - If you hate your job that much leave!
Be a good customer.
I am a good customer.
There is such a thing as a poor customer service worker and a poor sales assistant who are rude and should find work elsewhere in another field.
Sometimes you can be a good customer and still get shitty customer service! And yes, I used to work in retail so I get ALL of the above.
"See the sign by the counter that reads 'no cash refunds, store credit only'? Do you? DO YOU?! BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT THERE. It was also right there when you bought that dress you couldn't be bothered to try on. And no, as a casual retail assistant, the company's returns policy don't fall under my duties." I think your employer needs to invest in sending you to an ACL course.