This article deals with an account of miscarriage that could be triggering for some readers.
“Why don’t you have kids?”
“When are you having another child?”
Nooooo. No. No. No.
These may seem like harmless questions, but they’re not. They can be incredibly uncomfortable for many people to answer.
Canadian woman Lisa Marie has posted about why questions like this are hurtful, and her tweets have since gone viral.
Them: How old are you?
Me: 33.
Them: And you don’t have kids? Wow, time to get on that.
Me: I’ve had 7 miscarriages.
Them: *Looking incredibly uncomfortable*
Me: Annnnnnnnnd I hope we’ve learned a lesson in asking inappropriate personal questions.— Lisa Marie ????️???? (@xLiserx) August 12, 2018
Top Comments
We lost 7 babies before having our beautiful daughter. The worst comments came, surprisingly, from my mother. She was always probing and wanting to know when I was going to start a family. Now that I have a child, she has started on my nephew and his wife. At a family dinner earlier this year she was probing my nephew's wife about it constantly. In the end, I turned around and said that it was no one's business but theirs. For them, it's a lifestyle choice as they don't want to have any children. I just don't get why people have to put their 2 cents worth in!
I’m lucky enough to have one child. When—surprisingly often—someone tells me I should have another, I don’t blame them for not knowing about my lost babies or the grief I feel that it’s not possible. It works for me to listen to their intention, not their words. Tact isn’t everything. Their intentions are usually kind and I value kindness.