'I was having an affair with my married boss. Then I saw him use our "secret signal" on another colleague.'

As told to Ann DeGrey 

I never thought I'd find myself falling for a married man. I’d always prided myself on being the cliched "good girl" and that’s how all my friends and family saw me. No doubt they'd all be horrified at the person I’d become, having an affair with my manager and rarely giving his wife and child a second thought. 

The one person I confided in was my elder sister because she is usually not a judgemental person. But all she had to say about the situation I'd gotten myself into was, "Karma shows itself in the most unexpected ways, so watch out."

My lover, Tom, was not only my boss but he had also become my best friend. I didn't like him when I first met him. I felt he was like many very handsome men — completely aware of his looks and the power he had over others. But, once I got to know him, I realised he was a lovely, sensitive person and that's why I just couldn't walk away from him.

He told me his marriage was a sham, that he was miserable, and that he wanted to leave his wife. He was just waiting for another year and then he was going to leave. I believed him. I really wanted to believe him. But after the year's "deadline" drew closer, I was more and more frustrated about having to share him with his wife.

So, I gave him an ultimatum and I feel that was my biggest mistake. I told him if he hadn't left his wife by the end of the year, then I would move on with my life. I wanted to be free so I could meet a man who was completely mine.

Tom couldn't believe I was being so bold, but I thought he took my words seriously. I was soon to find out that he didn't really care about me at all.

One night, at a company function, my life changed. Across the room, I saw Tom talking to Lucy, one of our senior colleagues. Lucy was in her late 50s although she looked at least ten years younger. The fact that she was so much older than Tom meant that I certainly didn't see her as a threat.

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Watching them in deep conversation, I saw Tom reach towards her. Then he yanked her ponytail, hard, twice. 

My heart stopped. It was such a familiar gesture. He did the same thing to me; it was like our secret signal. He always did it when he wanted to make love.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Surely Tom wasn't involved with Lucy too? My mind raced, trying to process what I'd just witnessed. 

I left the room, feeling like I needed to get some fresh air. I remember stepping out into the cool night, as my thoughts were all over the place. Was I completely naïve? Had Tom been lying to me all along? 

A few minutes later, Tom came outside looking for me. I quickly explained what I’d just seen. Well, I thought he'd deny it, or just laugh it off, but instead, he looked away and couldn't meet my eyes. That told me everything I needed to know.

"Oh my God. Are you sleeping with Lucy?" I asked.

He paused for a few seconds before saying, "Lucy and I are… together. And you made it pretty clear you didn't want to keep our relationship going." 

That’s not exactly what I said — I'd given him an ultimatum. That was hardly giving him the go ahead to start a new affair with another co-worker! 

He tried to justify it, saying that Lucy had been there for him during difficult times, he loved that she was older and wiser than him and that she didn't have an issue with him being married. 

That was the moment I realised what I fool I'd been, and, in the words of my sister, I was getting my karma in a very unexpected way. In Tom's eyes, I was just another woman in a long line of women he was using to fill whatever was missing in his life. 

I walked away from Tom that night. I was very proud of myself as it was very tempting to just stay with him. I didn't have any other options. But, I felt that he would probably carry on juggling me, Lucy and also his long-suffering wife. Nothing about that situation would be good for me. So I ended up leaving my job because I couldn't keep working for him. And, there was no way I wanted to see Tom and Lucy flirting with each other. 

A year later, I believe Tom is still married to his wife but I have no idea if Lucy is still his lover. Maybe she tired of him the same way I did — most women don't want to share a man for very long. I still feel broken hearted, but I also feel a bit wiser. I now know that sometimes the person we think we love isn't who they seem to be. And in the words of my sister, karma really show up in a very unexpected way. 

Feature Image: Getty.