Save your advice for yourself. Please.
I met with one of my wisest friends recently, to talk about life and love and periods of transition.
It’s no secret that I’ve been going through some tough times lately, and even though I don’t, in general, appreciate being given advice (no matter how much it’s born of good intentions), I do like talking things over with a select few people – people who really know how to listen.
The problem with seeking out advice is, most people don’t bother listening to you because they’re too busy thinking about what they would do in your situation, without even really understanding what you’re going through. And how could they understand? They’re not in your shoes. No one knows your life and relationships like you do; no one else is living your life. All they can do is see it through the filter of their own experiences, fears, desires, privilege, and prejudice. As Cicero said, “nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.”
What other people can sometimes offer is an outside perspective, or a piece of wisdom that helps you figure things out for yourself. In the case of my friend, she told me something that sort of blew my mind – and that I’ve been thinking about ever since.
There’s no right thing to do
As I told my friend, I’ve been trying to decide what to do about a couple of different situations in my life.
“I keep praying for the answer, hoping to figure out what the right decision is,” I told her. And then she shared something with me that one of her mentors told her long ago: “There is no right decision.”
Top Comments
If you always do what youve done before, you’ll always get what you got. So see a trained counsellor that will guide you to make your own decisions.
Your friend's advice is fantastic but that doesn't mean some of the other advice you have received isn't worthwhile as well. You admit you have decisions you are struggling to make so instead of getting pissed off at people's advice perhaps simply listen to them. If there are people in your life that know and love you, you don't have to do what they say, but take it into consideration before making YOUR OWN decision.