Trigger warning: this story contains details of sexual abuse and self-harm, which may be distressing for some readers.
A former navy apprentice has shared the heartbreaking story of the sustained sexual abuse he suffered as a teenager during his time with the ADF.
Ken McIlwain told The Project that he was repeatedly raped by two superiors in the early 1970’s, abuse that left him with physical and psychological damage and ultimately prompted him to attempt suicide.
“About a year after I joined we moved into a new set of barracks and I used to do the ironing for one of the seniors,” Mr McIlwain said.
“I took it up one time and he usually just [paid] me a small amount of money to do it, but this time he grabbed me and threw me on the bed and had oral sex with me, telling me that was my payment. There was also someone else in the room.”
After numerous assaults, McIlwain reported the abuse to medical officers. No investigation was launched, no one was suspended. Instead, McIlwain was repeatedly prescribed with bottles of valium – a calming medication.
“I remember counting them, there was 72 [pills]. I took the whole lot to commit suicide because I was happy to go. I mean there was no way, there was no way I could get out of it,” McIlwain told The Project.
He survived, and was placed in a psychiatric institution. Still nothing was done about his allegations. When he told his own parents, his father mercilessly beat him and accused him of lying.
“From that day I said I would never tell another soul, because the only person that believed me was God,” he said.
He buried his story, but the psychological scars remained. For years he would compulsively buy large quantities of a certain brand of soap – the same kind he used to wash himself after each assault.
But when news broke about a female member of the ADF having her sexual assault live streamed via Skype, McIlwain decided enough was enough.
He’s since submitted his story to the Royal Commission into sexual abuse in the ADF, which began in Sydney on Tuesday.
“I just hope there’s other people out there right now, other Defence people, who see me tonight and say goodness me, I’m going to speak about it,” he said.
“Don’t give up. Just don’t give up.”
For 24-hour crisis support and counselling, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Top Comments
It's really terrible that this happened.
I really feel for this man.
Was it really necessary and appropriate for this man to tell the whole of this story in great detail while being interviewed on The Project last night?
Yes it was. Please stop trying to silence victims from telling their stories. You become complicit in the denial and then the coverup of these henious crimes.
It was shown at prime time on TV and I have young children watching.
I'm not trying to silence victims.
I'm saying that it was inappropriate and unnessary to go into great detail to explain what happened at this time slot.
As well as that I suffer from severe depression and I don't want to hear it.
It was that bad,I had to turn it off.
Ok.