My friend Nick doesn’t talk like other people. Over the years, I’ve become used to the way he leaves long pauses in conversation – last week, I counted a full 11 seconds – as he thinks about what he’s going to say next. It can be unnerving, yet when he does eventually speak, what he says is sound, wise and invariably a smart solution.
Of course we all think (where did I leave the bloody car keys?), reflect (does this season’s camel suit me?) and plan (if I make spag bol tonight, it might stretch to a shepherd’s pie tomorrow and tacos on Tuesday).
But how many of us actually think deeply about the lives we lead and the values that underpin them? Who has time to ponder in our crazy-busy, constantly connected, mouse-click-driven lives? We’ve become human doings, not human beings.
I promise I’m not turning all self-helpy on you, but surely reflection is essential for a meaningful life, and all the more important for those in positions of power . The sultans of spin shine briefly, but when the words fade away, the enduring figures in history are the deep thinkers – Gandhi, Mandela, Gorbachev.
So how do we, a generation playwright Richard Foreman has likened to ‘pancake people’ because we’re spread so wide and thin, lure ourselves away from our iPads, iPods and iPhones to, heaven forbid, develop our iPerson?
Ironically, it’s the purveyors of the very technology that gobbles up our time that are the greatest exponents of reflection. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg all take ‘think weeks’ (though probably at some five-star, Wi-Fi connected log cabin).
But it doesn’t have to be that long. A year ago, I felt my life was running me rather than me running my life, so I went to see a personal coach. He came from a business background and he made me answer three questions: What are your top five accomplishments? What do you want to make sure you do in this lifetime? What are a few goals you want to achieve in the next 120 days? Then he added: “Remember, thinking is an action, too.”
This week, I had a peek back and here’s what I wrote for my short-term goals:
- Play a team sport
- Own a bike (preferably a yellow one with a front basket)
- Start a herb garden
- Read more books
- Spend more time on the sofa cuddling my kids, before they turn into teenagers and loathe me
- Take half a day, once a month, just to ‘be’, not to ‘do’.
Aside from the yellow bike (which I just know is going to be my next birthday present) and some bedraggled basil, I’ve achieved them all. And that half-day has become both precious and productive. Now when I talk to Nick, I’m the one pausing for thought.
This article originally appeared here and has been republished with Angela’s permission
What are your short term goals? Have you thought about what you want to be doing and tried to make it happen?
Angela Mollard is a Sydney-based journalist who began her career at the New Zealand Herald before moving to London where she worked for the Daily Mail. She also wrote for The Sunday Times, the Mail on Sunday, Marie Claire and Harpers & Queen before moving to Australia. Angela will be on Mamamia TV on Sky News tomorrow night
Top Comments
Bit late to the party but this is still relevant...
Mine are:
1. finish the house renovations (we just got a planning permit and being a project manager, I'm determined to have it done by xmas)
2. Get the vegetable and herb garden going
3. Start playing golf
4. Organise our summer holiday
I only have 4 but those are big ones!
top five accommplishments?
surviving victoriously, independently, sanely and spiritually the big DV - domestic violence. Recovery incomplete ... but assured.
teaching my children self-protective behaviours, teaching them how to forgive, how to dream, how to laugh, how to sing, how to dance and how to love ...
being the first and only person in my family to attend and graduate university.
being the first and only person in my family to gain masters qualifications.
loving.
making sure to do this lifetime?
enjoy sunshine
fall in love
goals next 120 days?
complete all assignments due from last semester and current semester
graduate with my masters class
maintain sanity
remember my name
plant basil (my boy loves pesto!)
reconcile the teen loathing of my children and enjoy them anyway ...
sit in the sunshine
discover time control ...
stop time ...
catch up ...
have a rest ...
re-start time with nobody any the wiser ...
This is really beautiful :)