8 reasons why it’s okay to lie to your children

My husband Jim was born on ANZAC Day. His father was a Colonel in the army, so ANZAC Day was a big deal, mainly because Jim had been told the march was for his birthday. Every year, they’d head off to see Dad lead the march, lifting his sword and turning his square jaw towards the birthday boy (who always stood near the memorial). Four-year-old Jim would return the gesture with a salute, ‘Thanks for coming out again, fellas. Appreciate it.’

As long as they are not told to humiliate, mislead or shame a child, I believe lies have a place in a loving home. My in-depth analysis suggest parents lie for the following reasons:

1.     To amuse ourselves. The ANZAC lie falls into this category.

2.     To get us out of a tight parenting spot. ‘The Ice-Cream van only plays music when it’s run out of ice-cream.’ This lie is a cracker and has deservedly achieved urban-myth status.

3.     To reassure and comfort. ‘Daddy asked the cockroach man to spray for monsters under the bed as well. Now, go to sleep.’

4.     To ensure good behavior. These lies are otherwise known as, ‘Idle threats,’ and are completely useless. For example, ‘I’m going stop the car and leave you by the side of the road.’ This threat is extremely popular, but in my family, it was always the, ‘You’ll be sent to boarding school,’ variation that was flung around when times were tense. It only stopped when I started reading Enid Blyton and living at school suddenly seemed like jolly good fun. Midnight feasts and lacrosse games galore!

5.     To convince children to eat. Jerry Seinfeld’s wife Jessica supplemented the family income by writing entire books about food lies. How to hide broccoli in brownies and carrot in ice-cream. This is a very divisive topic. It’s those who say, ‘I’m not going to puree beetroot and bake it into a bloody sponge cake. The kid can eat a slice of beetroot!’ versus those prepared to do whatever it takes to get seven serves a day into their child. (I suspect these parents lie to each other – ‘Of course, Aspen loves beetroot! Can’t get enough of it.’ No mention of the fact that it’s been altered to the point it looks and tastes like raspberry ripple.)

6.     To avoid sharing. Hands up those parents who haven’t scoffed a Tim-Tam behind the pantry door and replied ‘Apple!’ when your five year old calls, ‘Mu-um, what are you eating?’

7.     To ensure schedules are adhered to. I was in the surf late one afternoon when a kid asked me if it was six o’clock yet. ‘Ten to,’ I said, looking at my watch, ‘Does your mum want you in at six?’ ‘Not really,’ he replied, ‘But she says that’s when the sharks come.’ Just to be safe, I got out at 5.59pm, along with the kid. His mum clearly knows her stuff.

8.     To make childhood special. Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and all their mythical mates. There are people who believe such characters are lies and therefore frightening. Maybe that’s true, but at our place they’re heaps of fun so I’ll stick them it for as long as I can. The day will come all to soon when I have to come clean. We might have to tell Daddy the truth about ANZAC day also.”

What lies have you told your children? Have you ever told lies to your children?