Image: iStock.
Running: it’s good for you, but damn, it hurts.
Whether you’re a casual jogger or a fun run enthusiast, the calmness and determination on your face usually belies the pained monologue going on inside your (very sweaty) head.
Research has actually proven this is the case. In a recent study, long-distance runners were asked to record their thoughts as they pounded the pavement — and 30 per cent were related to how painful the experience was. As in, “Ouch, this hurts, make it stop.”
Here are 40 thoughts every runner has experienced at least once.
1. “Look at me being all fit and stuff. I am a total Fit Person.”
2. “I need to tell someone about this. Should I put a selfie on Instagram? Or is that a bit wanky? … Yeah, it’s wanky, but I’m doing it anyway.”
3. “These leggings have fluoro panels on them… that’ll make me go faster, right?”
4. “I’m totally going to run five ks today. I can feel it in my bones.”
5. “OK. Let’s do this. Beyonce playlist, do your thing.”
6. “I wonder if I’m going to find a dead body today. Dead bodies are always discovered by joggers.”
7. “Look at me go! I’m not even sweating yet. I am a superior being. Someone needs to play the Chariots of Fire theme song right now.”
8. “Oh, yep, there’s the sweat. It’s happening.”
9. “Probably should have brought a water bottle.”
10. “Okay now I’m dying a little bit.”
11. “Oh no… there’s another runner. I’m just going to speed up till I’m past them, so they know I’m better.”
12. “Aaaaannd… they’re gone. Phew. Slowing back down.” (Post continues after gallery.)
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13. “Why is this killing me so much? They say the first kilometre is the hardest, right? Once I get past it I’ll be fineeeeee.”
14. “I AM SO NOT FINE.”
15. “Why am I doing this, again? Who am I? I could be in bed right now.”
16. “Great! I have a stitch! Is this God punishing me for eating those extra three slices of pizza last night?”
17. “Shit. This is actually really painful. I need to distract myself. Let’s count backwards from 400! Yeah!”
18. “I really shouldn’t have worn these undies, damnit.”
19. “Boobs, I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry for inflicting this on you.”
20. “COME ON, TAYLOR SWIFT. GET ME THROUGH THIS.”
21. “Sorry Taylor. You’re not cutting it. Dubstep time.”
22. "I can't believe I'm actually listening to dubstep."
23. "Argh, a red light. Do I have to do that weird shuffle on the spot while I wait? I can't just stop moving, can I?"
24. "Ummm, yeah, stop shuffling. You look like an idiot. The people in that car are staring."
25. "Oh, you think you're soooo good for overtaking me on the footpath, huh? You think you're Usain Bolt, do you?"
26. "Look, the only reason they're running faster than me is because I've been going at it soooo much longer. Obviously."
27. "Don't trip over. Do not trip over."
28. "Wow. If this hill was a person I would disown it, no joke."
29. "I must be close to five kilometres by now."
30. "Seriously? I've run two ks?"
31. "Did I really say I was running five kilometres today? Because I was clearly deluded."
32. "IHATERUNNINGIHATERUNNINGIHATERUNNINGIHATERUNNING."
33. "Isn't running meant to be a meditative experience? Why do I only get pain and loathing?"
34. "Just get to the next pole. Just the next pole."
35. "God, I'm so sweaty. I hope I don't run into anyone I know."
36. "What the hell? How are my shoelaces undone again? I Girl Guide knotted that shit."
37. "When I'm done here, I'd better look more toned."
38. "Finally. It's over. I can curl up and die."
39. "I'm never running again."
40. *One hour later* "WOOO, RUNNER'S HIGH! I'M GOING TO RUN EVERY DAY!"
What's always running through your mind during a run?