We first fell for Johnny Depp when he – and we – were much, much younger.
Even before his fabulous turn on the hit TV show 21 Jump Street we watched him be murdered in his sleep by none other than Freddie Kruger in Nightmare on Elm Street. He was too cute for words.
Then came the brilliance.
We had What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, and even the early installments of Pirates of the Caribbean, Edward Scissorhands, Donnie Brasco, Finding Neverland, Blow, Secret Window, and Platoon, however lately Depp has been impressing us less and less and personal life.
Splitsville: Amber Heard files for divorce from Johnny Depp. Read it here first!
Its not so much that he and soon-to-be ex-wife Amber Heard snuck their dogs into the country last year and then made a video taking the piss out of Australia's immigration laws.
It's not even that Depp can't stop talking about it and said our very own Barnaby Joyce looked like he was inbred with a tomato.
It's just that we're not feeling as connected to Johnny Depp as we used to. Even the "which version of Johnny Depp would you like to fuck" conversation in Trainwreck couldn't redeem him in our eyes.
So we've compiled a list of reasons we've gone off Johnny Depp, keeping in mind the fact that he may one day (please!) redeem himself in our eyes:
1. He still calls himself Johnny even though he is 52.
2. Every movie that bombs he blames on marketing, according to his Wikipedia page.
3. He works with Tim Burton too much (several staff would like it noted that they vehemently disagree with this point).
4. He gets divorced too much.
5. He doesn't seem to wash his hair and thinks "slut strands" look good.
6. We've all had enough of Pirates of the F**king Caribbean.
7. He gives super awkward interviews.
8. He laughs at his own jokes, case-in-point, Barnaby looks like he's inbred with a tomato...ha ha...
9. This weird-ass ad.
10. He thinks different rules should apply to him because he is a celebrity.
11. According to the most recent episode of LadyGang podcast, he has really small hands.
12. He completely RUINED Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, portraying Willy Wonka as creepy weirdo.
13. He doesn't respect our politicians. Just so you know Johnny, WE are the only ones who are allowed to not respect our politicians.
14. He jokes about Barnaby Joyce being inbred with a tomato but fails to lead that joke into a glaringly obvious one about Donald Trump. MISSED OPPORTUNITY!
15. He scared our kids in Alice in Wonderland by being a little too mad in his portrayal of the Mad Hatter.
16. "What is he doing with women so absurdly young? There I said it."
17. We never got over the way he dumped his fabulous French partner Vanessa Paradis for soon-to-be ex-wife/doggy smuggler Amber Heard.
18. His performances lately are a little "dial it in".
19. He equates being photographed as a famous person with being raped. No, Johnny, really really no.
20. He used to be so cool and mysterious but now it's like he's just trying to be Johnny Depp, the character.
21 (Jump Street). All of the above.
Do you think Depp might one day be able to redeem himself?
Top Comments
1. Amber heard has been lying about everything and that is a proven fact.
2. He lost his mother and wife within 3 days, his wife turned out to be gay and it turns out that she went to jail for hitting her girlfriend.
3. This entire article seems to be about an angry Aussie who is mad that someone said the truth about their politician. I mean who KILLS dogs just because they were brought in without permission. Just do some paperwork and bam.
4. Potter fans are mad for no reason. He was in fantastic beasts for 5 freaking minutes and yet he did a "bad job". Seriously?
5. He is one of the best actors ever. He did a wonderful job as willy Wonka I mean at least it was interesting. You can watch the second one anytime but you can't watch the first one again and again.
6. Amber heard within 4 FREAKING MONTHS of the divorce has had 2 NEW BOYFRIENDS ALREADY. She is a very good liar but not such a good actress.
7. He didn't dump Vanessa, she dumped him because he yelled at her for being mean to his mother who he ADORES.
8. Vanessa is now dating someone else its not like he ruined her life.
9. He still looks good and he did quit alchohol for some time before that alcoholic, drug addict, gold digger Amber heard came into his life.
10. No one try to fight me because whatever I said is actually true if you look at it.
ESPECIALLY NO.3
Omg! He freaking ruined the ending of Fantastic Beasts. He better not mess this up like he did Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Tom Cruise is another I am just tired of seeing. The mummy looks like a great movie but I don't know if I can sit through simply because Tom is the lead. There are tons of great actors out there who have not had as much screen time! Let's see more of them.