If you’re not doing this, you’re basically flushing money down the toilet.
Do you have magnificent shit? Like, really incredible, perfect poo?
If yes, you’re sitting on a goldmine, because poo has become a commodity, and people selling theirs are raking in the dough. You can actually make 13 GRAND a year selling your shit.
Here’s how (don’t pretend like you aren’t mentally spending that money already):
Ever heard of faecal transplants? It’s a treatment for people with an awful bacterial infection called C. diffidile. Antibiotics don’t usually have any long-term affect on C. diffidile, but some brave bastions of medicine figured out that if you take healthy poo from a healthy person, and put it into the gut of an unhealthy person with unhealthy poo, the healthy poo will make that unhealthy person’s gut healthy.
Basically – healthy poo is like magic medicine for people with bacteria in their bellies.
But where does the healthy poo come from?
A poo bank, obviously.
A company in the US called OpenBiome pays people for their poo. They then ship that shit around the country to the people who desperately need it.
And they pay well. BioDome dishes out $40 per poop, with a $50 bonus if you donate five times in a week. That means you could be raking in an extra $250 a week, or $13,000 a year, just by sitting on the toilet.
But it’s not easy being a poo-seller. Since the whole point is to collect healthy poo samples, BioDome has a very strict shit-screening process. Apparently only about 4% of people pass the perfect poo test.
And it’s not just about the money. According to OpenBiome, look how many people your poo could help:
YOU’LL BASICALLY BE A SHITTY SUPERHERO.
We need a poop-selling ring in Australia. Stat.
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Top Comments
I'm going to Sydney to have a faecal transplant next week and we do actually have donor banks in Australia. Its great to shed light on this topic but as someone who has suffered through numerous episodes of c.difficile and h.pylori which are treated with rather heavy doses of antibiotics - I do find this article quite offensive and ridiculing. If the writer had suffered with this condition I dont think they would be so flippant about a serious illness that causes a great deal of suffering!
I can see that you are bringing awareness to this problem that needs awareness and not once while i was reading this article did i think you were mocking the illness, well done for making people aware in a funny way, Its obviously for a good cause ! :)