Just in case you weren’t sure, I speak English. Fluently.
I was born in Sydney. I’ve lived in Australia my whole life. So yes, I understand everything you say in English.
But there are still people who assume that I don’t speak or understand the language. And I can only describe the feeling I get as a strange mix of disgust and humour.
I was at Woolies yesterday and all I wanted were some tampons. I wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about the purchase. I was tired and I was in pain. But they were on sale so that made me feel a little better.
There were two women standing in front of the section and I waited for them to move. When they did, I politely said “excuse me” and made my way.
I was crouched on the ground, trying to be thrifty and working out which brand was better value when I realised one of the women was standing above me.
And she said “hit me again”.
First of all, I didn’t hit her. I probably brushed up against her, but I didn’t HIT her. Secondly, I was so ready to rip into her, thanks to all of the raging hormones.
But I just looked up at her and said “sorry?” with what was probably a bit of a bitch face.
And that’s when I realised she wasn’t looking for a fight. Her face said it all – her eyes became larger and she gasped a little. Her face literally screamed “shit. You speak English.” I knew at that moment that she had assumed I wouldn’t understand her.
As I walked away from her, I overheard her say to her friend “fuck. I didn’t think she spoke English.”
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Despite having been born and raised in an Asian country, my English is impeccable. Back when I was an international student at a Go8 uni, I had no difficulty at all in understanding the course content and graduated a semester early with first class honours in law. I even made law review - here I was, checking the spelling and grammar of law professors (I corrected several mistakes too)! A lot of Australians can't even spell many common English words and have to rely on spell check, whereas I'm a Scrabble champion. Their writing is also littered with numerous grammatical mistakes. How is it that so many Australians only know one language yet they manage to stuff it up but I know four and somehow manage to write law essays better than they do? Heck, I was even an English tutor teaching white kids in Australia! I admit that I am probably an exception to the rule because I am well-educated but this goes to show that one should never judge a book by its (not it's) cover!
Sometimes it's the other way around. I'm Australian born with German heritage. I speak and understand German. While on a train, a German-speaking tourist made a disparaging remark to the other tourist about Australian girls. I replied (in German). They were stunned, obviously expecting Australians to only speak and understand English.