Are female best friends the loop hole of relationships?
Browsing through the Tinder human catalogue, I stop on an appealing, blue-eyed man. I tap on his image and swipe through his other photos. His second photo is one of him and an incredibly attractive female. Interesting. In the next photo, the leggy blonde is back. The third, there they are, sipping cocktails on a palm tree swaying island.
An ex-girlfriend? Surely not. Sister? They don’t look alike. Work colleague? Bit cosy for that.
I scan down to his written description which begins with: The girl in the photo is my best friend. If you’re the sort of person who has a problem with this, I’m not the guy for you.
Hmmm. Do I have a problem with this? I actually don’t know, I don’t think I do. She’s just another person right, they’re friends. No big deal.
I look at the photos again, she is ridiculously attractive. How can they just be friends? Don’t be silly I tell myself, men are allowed to have attractive female friends. I swipe right and to my surprise, we match.
The next day I float the idea with some female friends. What do they think about men who have female best friends?
Alison is very vocal about the topic. ‘The last guy I dated had a female bestie and it was down right strange. Instead of having ‘boys’ nights’ he’d have movie nights with her, or dinner.
It was like they were dating. I got so paranoid I even went to the extreme of ‘happening’ to be at the same pub they were at one night. I sat on the other side and watched as they chatted non-stop and laughed. Even though she had a boyfriend, she would lean in and touch his arm every time she laughed, she was flirting her pants off!’
Read more: “Why I’m not married to my best friend”
‘This must be an extreme case,’ I tell her.
‘I agree,’ says another friend. ‘A guy I dated ages ago had a female bestie and it was like I was the other woman. She had been in his life for so long that whenever he needed a plus one, she was his go- to.
Top Comments
My husband has three wonderful female friends, all of whom he has been romantically involved with in the past. He was completely upfront with me about this. He was still flatmates with one of them when we met (plus another male friend was in their share house too.)
I have never felt threatened because a) we trust each other, b) he has never ever tried to hide anything about these relationships from me and c) well - he married me! He has visited one of them in her flat in Sydney and stayed 2 nights. He takes another one of them to the footy (which I encourage cause I hate it!)
It may sound weird but he happens to be the type of guy that gets along REALLY well with women! If I had a problem with that we wouldn't be married. Also, I've gotten to know all these fab women and I get along with them all really well.
And yes, all three of them came to our wedding!
However....he didn't invite any of them on our first date :). And we also met via the internet!
Yeah, it does sound weird. Guy who gets along really well with women is either gay or good at getting into their beds.
He's sleeping with at least one of them. If he wants a holiday, he stays in a hotel.
As a woman who has had male besties disappear because their new girlfriends can't deal... I just feel sad.
Same here.
It's how it's supposed to be, the girlfriend is supposed to be his female best friend.