If you really loved me, you'd change your name. To mine.

A dude in LA has won the legal right to change his surname to that of his new wife.
Michael Buday married Diana Bijon and wanted to become Michael Bijon.

Now he is but it took two years, a lawsuit alleging sex discrimination and a change in California law before he picked up his new drivers license in the name of Michael Bijon on Monday.

 

From Reuters:

"It was personal. I feel much closer to (Diana's) father than I do mine. She asked me to take her name and I thought it would be very simple. I never imagined the state would make it so difficult," Michael Bijon, 31, told reporters.

He discovered it would take a $350 fee, court appearances, a public announcement and mounds of paperwork to make a change on his driving license that is routine for women who marry.

After months of frustration, the Los Angeles computer programmer and his ER nurse wife Diana, 29, took their problem to the American Civil Liberties Union of Southern California.

A double barrel name would have been no problem, nor would Diana and Michael deciding to each keep their birth names. But California and some 40 other U.S. states provided no place on the marriage license application, and driving license, for the groom to choose the bride's surname.

"Women have fought for so long for equal rights and it feels like this is part of that fight," said Diana Bijon. "When we got married, the law basically said, 'Don't be silly, only a woman can change her name when she gets married.'"

    "I am really, really proud of him. Not many men would do this,"

She's right about that. My friends who are in their forties pretty much all kept their names when they got married. But my friends in their thirties and twenties all changed theirs. I don't know anyone who has done the double-barrel thing, let alone gone with the wife's name. Rad.

Odd that it's such a surprising thing to do really.....

               

Comments

[Danielle Melnyczenko]

Sweet. I'm 22 and got married last year and I took my husbands name.

My maiden name was "Le Poidevin" which I think is just so beautiful. Now my last name is "Melnyczenko"... I obviously like making it hard on myself :)

We should all be constantly changing the world if we see fit, they did and I applaud them.

[Laura]

Wow I can't believe they had to go through all that just to change his name!! I've always assumed that married couples could choose whichever name they wanted, either the woman's name or the man's, and I assumed the same paperwork would be involved... how wrong I was.

[lou]

what, now that are going to have a happy marriage and it'll last forever because he now has her last name?! what a ridiculous waste of time that all was, especially when they end up getting divorced and he'll have to change everything back. what last name you have doesn't matter, it's what the marriage is made up of, love, trust and caring for one another. they are sooo stupid!

[Laura]

wow, that's a cynical comment lou...

i don't think they're stupid at all... I think it's pretty stupid that the paperwork etc is set up so that only women can change their names easily. why shouldn't a man take his wife's name?

And surnames are very important to some people... Personally, i think it's important to have a last name that unites the family... I realise it doesnt matter to everyone, but it matters to me.

[Amy]

"i don't think they're stupid at all... I think it's pretty stupid that the paperwork etc is set up so that only women can change their names easily. why shouldn't a man take his wife's name?"
I totally agree with you Laura!

In our culture (Vietnamese), no one changes their surname after getting married. But the kids would carry the father's surname. Although many people now opt for the double barrel thing. But still, because the hyphenated thing doesn't work in Vietnamese language, the mother's surname would only serve as an extra middle name.

In Japanese culture though, the husbands have been allowed to change into his wife's surname for decades.

[lou]

to laura- i don't think your really getting my point that it's not about the last name in a marriage, it's about what the marriage is made of, NOT THE LAST NAME! happiness in marriage is not made up from a last name

[lu]

I think its important for the family unit to be united with the same surname. The amount of effort I had to go to when I changed my name, especially on my passport, was a complete pain so I knew it must have been important to me to justify the hassle. It makes life less complicated for your kids if you have the same name. My youngest child has just discovered that we all have the same surname which he thinks is just fantastic ! Yes a happy marriage isnt made from having the same name but for some people its an important tradition worth honouring. Good luck to this couple.

[Jane]

That is so cool. My parents just kept their own names and then hyphenated their last names for me, which has worked pretty well. Don't think my dad would have taken mum's name though. lol.

[Cheryl]

There was a guy I used to work with and when he married both he and his wife changed their surnames to one they chose together. I thought that was a cool concept, they'd started a life together and their new surname signified that. I would far have preferred a new, shorter surname rather than the 10 letters I started with or the 11 letters I changed to.

[Angela]

Couldn't he just have changed his name? People do it all the time. I get that it's the principle but I have a whole lot of better things to do with my time.

[Dot]

All that trouble this couple had to go through shows just how much this world is ruled by men and us women, well, we are just expected to go with it. Good on them!

[Judy]

I found Cheryl's comment really interesting - what a great and novel idea!

I was stunned to read all the faffing about for the poor couple in the story.... I assumed it was quite easy to change your name by deed poll. My daughter did - she abbreviated her first name to Tina, because she didn't like the full version of it that I'd lovingly given her; and changed her surname to that of my second husband (her step-father) She did keep her middle name untampered with! Then about 3-4 years later, she got married, and her surname changed yet again, to that of her husband. Still, she made her point, and that was what Tina was all about at that stage in her life!!

[Emma]

Well I won't be changing my name when I get married for my own specific reasons (If you're interested I recently did a blog post about it http://www.princesseemma.com/2008/04/whats-in-name.html )
I have a friend who is getting married soon and her fiance has said that he thinks it would be disrespectful of her NOT to change her name to his. And he wouldn't change his name to her's because 'that's not the tradition'.
I asked my boyfriend if he would change his name to mine when we marry and he said no. So why should I? (There are other reasons I have though).
But I know a guy that changed his name to his wife's when they married. He had issues with his family and had no attachment to his surname and was happy to make the change (my boyfriend and I have attachments to our family names).
We will most likely hyphenate our kid's names too.

[Dataceptionist]

Thats an American anomaly, in Oz its much easier as someone said above.

The man would just change his name by Deed Poll after the marriage. If for any reason it broke down again though, he would have to go through changing it all back via Deed poll also, which is different to what a woman does.

When a woman changes her name, she is still legally both Miss Original_name and Mrs Hubby's_name. She only takes Mrs Hubby's_name temporarily in whichever manner she chooses to.
She is recognised as both surnames though, through her marriage certificate.

If he changes his name by deed poll however, he is no longer that former surname legally, unless he changes back to it, via deed poll again.

Also, if both husband and wife want to take a completely differnt, or hyphenated name, the easiest way is for the man to again, change his name by deed poll before the marriage, and then she takes "his" surname as normal.

*class dismissed*
hahaha

[Rosie]

Lou, we all know that the name doesn't make the marriage. But they shouldn't have had to go through all that for something so simple. When I married, I changed my name, because it was the name my children had, and I wanted the same surname. My husband couldn't have cared one way or the other.

[Mel]

I don't know about Australia, but in NZ a man can take his wife's surname without any worries - the same as a woman can take her husband's. America is so behind the times!

[Nikoleta]

In Slovakia, when you get married, part of the "contract" yopu sign at the registrar's pffice is the declaration of what happens with surnames. You can choose the whole family to have one of the partner's surnames, you can each have your own and kids will use XY, or you will do XYZ...

Pretty good system I think...

[Katie]

My fiance and i are getting married this August and have been surprised at the level of feeling that many family members have displayed when we told them of our plans re name changes. I am the last Walsh in the family, and really don't want the name to die out. I also want to honour my future husband decided to hyphenate- no problem! Then Shane expressed that he really wants us to have the same name- as a family for our kids, do he asked if he could hyphenate also- so we shall both be Walsh-Smith. Everyone (read-his family and friends) has been shocked that he wants to do this, and are still desperately trying to talk him out of it before the wedding.