Vanity Fair published a bizarre profile on Margot Robbie and Australia and nobody understands.

Have you ever felt like you’re a ‘throwback person’? Like you’re awake? Like you’re constantly studying the habits, customs and accents of Americans from a perfect perch?

Because if you have – Vanity Fair totally GETS you.

The magazine has published a feature article about Aussie Hollywood gem Margot Robbie and its bizarre observations about Australian ‘culture’ and absolutely nobody understands.

The story is a feature about Robbie and her unique star quality, complete with a video of the beauty demonstrating and explaining Australian slang.

Readers are perplexed about a number of odd descriptions of Robbie and Australia.

Exhibit A:

“Australia is America 50 years ago, sunny and slow, a throwback, which is why you go there for throwback people…When everyone here is awake, everyone there is asleep, which makes it a perfect perch from which to study our customs, habits, accents.”

Yes, those are actual words written in the magazine – the cover story.

via GIPHY

I don’t know about you, but I often spend my waking hours studying the “customs, habits and accents” of Americans. (I started my morning by rolling out of bed and thinking, ‘Is this how an American would do it?’)

I often view myself as a “throwback” person, and can’t wait for the next 50 years where we will finally catch up to our ‘big brother’ America.

And I most definitely would say that I “live and die with the plot turns of soap operas”.

The article – titled ‘Welcome to the Summer of Margot Robbie’- takes a deep dive into her trajectory to Hollywood super stardom, and offers a horrifically patronising view about how a girl who grew up “the sleepiest part of a sleepy city at the bottom of the world” could become the mega-star who is about to star in one of the most highly anticipated films of the year, Suicide Squad.

Meet the girl from Oz and our August cover star, @MargotRobbie https://t.co/kuvK2C6dLH pic.twitter.com/gyulQ5ij8H

— VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) July 6, 2016

Did we mention that the “sleepy city” Robbie grew up in was the Gold Coast? The schoolies (and theme park) capital of Australia? And that she also shies away from talking about seeing snakes and kangaroos around her house because she doesn’t want to “encourage stereotypes” of the Aussie way of life?

The only thing more disturbing than Cohen’s description of Australia is his description of Margot herself. He describes her as a “girl next door”, despite the fact she’s never really played a character that is remotely of that nature. (Just because she got her start on a show called Neighbours doesn’t mean she literally is your neighbour.)

Oh, and there’s this: “She is 26 and beautiful, not in that otherworldly, catwalk way but in a minor knock-around key, a blue mood, a slow dance. “She is blonde but dark at the roots. “She is tall but only with the help of certain shoes. She can be sexy and composed even while naked but only in character.”  Check out Margot Robbie through the years. Post continues after gallery.

Not, “wow, isn’t Margot Robbie’s talent remarkable?”. Not a single mention of how she stole the show in her breakout US role alongside one of the biggest stars in the world, Leonardo DiCaprio, in The Wolf The Wall Street. Just more talk about her “awkward” sex scenes, her blonde hair and her “freshness” in the industry.

The only saving grace of the piece comes in the form of a video posted online of the actress of her explaining the meanings of various Aussie slang phrases. Like ‘thong’. And ‘fair dinkum’. And ‘crack onto somebody’. As in, “Fair dinkum, Rich, there’s more important things about Margot than her thong. Stop trying to crack onto her, you yobbo.”

We’re not the only ones who are laughing (and, on the inside, crying) at these descriptions of the actress and our country. Naturally, the only legitimate reaction is to take your views online, right?

@Abbey_Bender *writes about bullfighting* — roujin (@cruyffbedroom) November 24, 2014

shorter vanity fair: ugly hags rule america now. 4 hotties go 2 australia. also if u are a woman pls b hot. choppy sentences make gud prose.

— Prachi Gupta (@prachigu) July 6, 2016

dude legit stops to talk about how great another man is while he’s writing a profile of this woman pic.twitter.com/ROAOrx5uNm — CORIANDER (@priya_ebooks) July 6, 2016

The world also offered up a solution to this problem, and we have to agree. Let’s stop letting creepy men write about the talent of beautiful actresses. Because talent and beauty are not the same thing, and there’s more to Margot (or any actress, to be fair) than her looks.

What if we banned men from writing profiles for like one year — Katie McDonough (@kmcdonovgh) July 6, 2016

would cosign a moratorium on men writing celebrity profiles of women — Jessica Goldstein (@jessicagolds) July 6, 2016

Stop letting men write profiles 2k16

— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) July 6, 2016

A small part of us is hoping that this article is one big joke and that the “LOL, GOTCHA” tweets will soon start flooding in.

Fingers crossed.

via GIPHY