You might think you do not know his story, but you do.
Kathleen Maddox came from a family of religious fanatics. If her father so much as put a hand on her mother’s knee, Kathleen’s grandmother would swiftly reprimand the “vulgar” display of affection.
The young woman from Ohio lived a life full of ‘nos’. “No Kathleen, that dress is too short. Braid you hair, don’t comb it like some hussy. No you can’t go to the school dance, we are going to church,” her grandmother would insist.
With fair hair, and deep brown eyes that produced an intense yet somewhat beautiful stare, Kathleen made the decision at 15 to abandon her life punctuated by “a never-ending list of denials”. She followed through on the threat so many teenagers have made, and ran away from home. She never returned.
Less than a year later, Kathleen fell pregnant to a man she knew only as ‘Colonel’.
The 16-year-old, who had thought very little if at all about the prospect of having children, gave birth to her son in Cincinnati General Hospital, surrounded only by disapproving nurses.
Colonel was not at the birth, and Kathleen made the decision not to list him on the newborn’s birth certificate.
When nurses handed Kathleen the paperwork, she stared blankly at the box that required she write down a name for her baby.
After a few moments, she returned the document.
It simply read, ‘No Name’.
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Having just taken on a small child in long-term foster care (until 18 years of age), I hope I have broken the cycle for this child who would otherwise likely be in a high risk domestic situation (including issues of homelessness, unemployment, drugs, violence, criminal activity etc)
The foster care training emphasised the importance of children forming positive attachments that are consistent, loving and safe. Without these, children can have trouble forming empathy for other people, leading to all sorts of issues of self-harm, violence and social problems.
Of course we all have choices, and some people from horrible childhoods end up being valuable members of society. But without positive attachments, the risk of going down the wrong path is much, mich higher.
I wonder whether ‘No Name’ would have turned out differently if he had been placed into long-term foster care with a loving family as a baby or small child?
Such stories still play out today.