Today, Kylie Jenner reached Peak Kardashian.

Today, Kylie Jenner reached Peak Kardashian.

What’s Peak Kardashian, you ask?

Peak Kardashian is the ultimate in decadence. It’s the pinnacle of debauchery. It’s the very tip-top of the mountain of appalling behaviour. It’s the place people visit when they want to despair about the state of the world but are also in the market for a new lip colour.

It’s what happens when a family of people only famous for being famous use their fame to become more famous until they implode but the implosion is massive and iconic and they become even more famous!

Today, Kylie Jenner released a video that seems, on one level, to be promoting a lipgloss range.

On another level, it’s an ad for Louis Vuitton headwear.

On another, it’s a Quentin Tarantino cult film about the drug trade with an R rating.

On another, it’s a music video for cute girls hanging out on summer vacay!

What is this video? 

Where did it come from? Which one is Kylie Jenner? I thought it would be the one with the shiniest lipgloss, but it could also be the one driving the Rolls Royce? No, wait, it’s the one with the glorious Kardashian butt! Good God, what has the world come to? 

But honestly, is that her real butt?

Kylie’s numberplate in the video is KINGKYLIE. A woman in a leather leotard and thigh-high boots drowns a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt in a fishtank. A terrifying murder scene unfolds behind Kylie, but she’s chilly so she goes to the boot of her Rolls to grab a fur coat. She’s selling lipglosses called “Like”, “Literally” and “So Cute” which is like ironic because they are the things Kardashians say all the time, and she’s stealing a suitcase full of money.

Why would Kylie Jenner need to steal money? She doesn’t, evidently, because she throws all her ill-begotten cash into the air as she and her #girlsquad drive away into the sunset.

And literally (the word, not the lipgloss) everyone is LOVING IT.

We love the Kardashians while we hate the Kardashians. We’re disgusted and enthralled in equal parts. Kylie’s video was posted earlier this morning and already boasts 789,000 Youtube views. Whether we watch because we’re obsessed with Kylie, or just obsessed with how obsessed everyone else is with her, doesn’t matter – we still watch. And watch. And watch. And watch.

The whole family is a beautiful, terrible, wonderful Kar Krash and nobody can look away – no, not even you, person who complains vocally about how much space the Kardashians take up on their news feed!

Face it. The Kardashians rule the world.

And now that Kylie has officially out-Kardashianed the Kardashians, there’s only one thing left to do:

All hail King Kylie.

Watch the full video here: