8 incredibly niche memories you definitely have if you played The Sims.

Playing The Sims was one of the great millennial culture touchstones.

For those of us who played the life simulation game, it was formative. We would spend hours – or as long as our mums would let us, plus a little longer when we were quiet enough that she forgot about us  – sitting at the computer, building gaudy homes, having our Sims cook hors d'oeuvres and having NO idea what that meant, and spending a weird amount of time giving them pool ladders and then... taking them away.

The Sims taught me that you can get better at being a surgeon by playing a lot of chess in your downtime. It taught me that you can just wander into any neighbour's house unannounced and it's fine. That absolutely everyone has a pool, and if they don't, you can build one with one hit of 'motherlode' and absolutely no building consent.

Real-life later taught me that none of those things were remotely true, but it was a fun fantasy for a time.

So, in the interests of nostalgia, here are all the memories former Sims kids share.

Taking the ladder out of the pool.

I don't know why we all enjoyed making our Sims swim until they're so exhausted that they die. But we all did it. And it was quite fun. To be fair, I also don't know why our Sims weren't smart enough to just lift themselves out the side of the pool.

A mass murder event.

Other classic murder techniques including building a room with no door or amenities, electrocution and, for those of us lucky enough to have the expansion packs, contracting Guinea Pig Disease.

There was just something thrilling, or at least funny, about the Grim Reaper turning up at your place. Which is why, no matter your personal MO, we were all virtual killers.

Hitting the motherlode (literally).

I remember the exact moment I learned about rosebud and motherlode, the cheats that would grant you extra Simoleons. Life was never the same – for me and my Sims.

They lived lavish lives despite their appalling work ethic, and I grew up resentful of the fact that I couldn't use it on my own real-life bank account.

Singing along to Katy Perry and Paramore in Simlish.

'Last Friday Night' became 'Lass Frooby Noop', and also 100 times more delightful.

And maybe trying to learn Simlish yourself.

We all tried to make 'Sul sul', the universal Sim language, happen in our real lives for a moment there.

Other highlights? 'Firby nurbs', a statement of annoyance or irritation. 'Wabadebadoo', which literally means 'I am on fire' and is used way more literally than metaphorically. And of course 'dag dag', for goodbye.

WooHoo!

Now that I think about it as an adult, the way we would all IMMEDIATELY start our Sims flirting, then kissing in order to WooHoo! (that's Sim sex, in case you've blocked out those memories) was unhinged and also very inappropriate.

But, just like a spot of murder, it was pretty fun.

The things that damn vibrating bed has seen.

WooHooing was absolutely hilarious. The Sims would spin around, which whipped ALL their clothes off and then casually get into bed, which was usually red with a heart-shaped headboard just to make it REALLY clear what this was all about. They would then tumble under the covers with such vigour that the entire bed would shake like a washing machine on a spin cycle. There were funny sounds and sometimes at the end, there would be a baby.

Just like that! Incredible stuff.

The only downside was the deep, deep anxiety that someone would walk in the room at that exact moment and realise... you were making your online characters... f**k.

Having your accidental WooHoo baby taken away by child services.

Social worker Sylvia was not here for your bulls**t.

Often it was on purpose, because their crying was pretty annoying.

Creating Sim versions of real people.

I created my entire family friend's family, and accidentally killed them all when I purchased them a fun toy and let the youngest child play with it. I then realised too late that it was a table of fireworks.

Unsurprisingly, the house caught fire. And instead of running, all five of them did that classic Sim thing of just standing in front of it, waving their arms in the air and yelling until I had... five urns.

RUN, YOU IDIOTS. RUN. 

I have never told their real-life counterparts because I still feel guilty about it.

The Goth family.

I often wonder about dear Mortimer Goth, the father figure we all shared. Is Bella Goth still wearing her tight red strapless dress? How is their daughter, Cassandra?

I hope they and the many tombstones outside their house are doing alright.

Feature image: EA Games.