How did I not notice there was a penis on my dress?

Hey guys.

I got a new dress!

I have that shiny bright new dress feeling.

Isn’t it great? Look at it.

No, really. Look at it.

CLOSELY.

Is that…

Is it?

Is that a penis on my dress?

Because as soon as I bounded into work today, I knew someone would comment on my dress. I just thought it would be a “great dress!” instead of “Ah… there is a penis on your dress”.

I’M SORRY but when I tried it on in the change-room, I didn’t notice. When I put it on this morning, I didn’t notice. When I caught a glimpse of my Great New Dress in the window, I didn’t notice.

Now, I may as well be Monica Lewinski for the amount of penis dress jokes flying around. My dress is sexually harassing people in the workplace and I didn’t even realise.

C’mon guys.

It’s not a penis.

Is it?