Social etiquette dictates a bridesmaid should provide moral support, organise the bridal shower/hen’s night, help the bride with her dress choice and get out on the dance floor if the DJ turns out to be a dud. Okay I made that last one up, however nowhere in the etiquette books does it state a bridesmaid should spend more than a thousand dollars in the lead up to the big day, but that is fast becoming the norm. A US study of 20,000 brides has revealed the average cost a bridesmaid will fork out from the engagement announcement to the “I do” is $1,695.
Spending upwards of $1,000 is not only limited to American bridesmaids. Franki Hobson, Editor of Cosmopolitan Bride, estimates bridesmaids here are spending around $1,100 on their friends weddings. This figures jumps to $2,000 if it is a weekend wedding away and upwards of $3,500 for a destination wedding overseas.
“Weddings have dramatically changed over the past five years. Now, more than ever, we are seeing large-scale productions with bigger budgets, and bridesmaids are often expected to absorb some of those costs,” Hobson says.
Breaking the costs down, a bridesmaid will spend approximately $300 on a dress, $100 on shoes, $100 on hair and make-up, $150 on the hens night, $120 on a wedding gift, an additional $100 on beauty incidentals like fake tanning, manicures, pedicures and $250 on ‘bride’s days’ like spa weekends, kitchen teas and wine tasting tours. Sheesh, if you have a lot of engaged girlfriends, it might be time to work out a savings plan.
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I am a bride-to-be myself, but have been a bridesmaid and am also a bridesmaid. Both times, I knew that I would not have not have bought the dress had it not been under the brides' instructions. If I hear one more bride say, "I can totally see you wearing that dress again," I will scream. No one will ever rewear a satin dress anywhere unless they're from the 80s. If you are going to shove an ugly dress down someone's throat, you should at least pay for it.
I am paying for my bridesmaids' dresses, but I am restraining as much as possible any veto power I have because I truly want them to pick it out. And I will NOT say, "I can totally see you wearing that dress again," because I do NOT expect them to wear the dress anywhere again.
Oh, and for one of the bride who I was already a bridesmaid for, the bridesmaid gifts were a complete joke. I think she had someone string together some beads from a craft store and called it a necklace.