BEC: "Michelle Bridges, I have something to say to you ..."

By REBECCA SPARROW

If there’s one thing I could say to The Biggest Loser trainer Michelle Bridges today it’s this:  Girl, stay off the internet. And for the love of all things low-fat, low-carb and low-taste — do not Google yourself.

Because this morning MB (as I’ll call her) admitted on Kyle and Jackie O’s breakfast radio show that the rumours were true. She is in fact now dating fellow Biggest Loser trainer Steve “Commando” Willis.

Ipso facto, MB is being called a marriage wrecking whore,  a shameful human being and you know,  Slutty McSlutterson of Slutsville.

Excellent.

Or not really.

I get that people are in shock. At first glance, it looks like MB and Willis have split from their partners to get it on (cue the Barry White music) with each another. And while 43-year-old MB never had kids with her husband and business partner Bill Moore there is an assumption she can walk away from her nine-year marriage with little collateral damage. (But is that true of any couple when their lives and finances and everything else are so intertwined? I think not).

Meanwhile, Willis does have kids.

The 36-year-old is the father of three  ( 14, 5 and  22-months).  Not helping is the fact that the word “affair” has been bandied about a lot by his now ex-de facto wife  (who goes by the name, Froso) in an interview she did with Woman’s Day.

Cue the public outcry.

Not having kids apparently makes MB a cold-hearted bitch.  (Funny, nobody ever says that about Oprah).  And of course she’s now being portrayed as the immoral strumpet who lured away the heart-of-gold family man.

But here’s the thing.  We all need to shut up with our mud-slinging and our opinions. Because the truth is NOBODY knows what’s gone down. And it’s none of our business to boot.

We don’t know the real reason why MB’s marriage ended in March.  Lord knows there are a million reasons a marriage ends. It wasn’t necessarily about Willis.

And as for Willis, what the hell do we know about the state of his relationship with his former partner?  I’ll answer that question for you:  Nada. Zip. Zilch. And while nobody wants to give the tick of approval to an affair when children are involved … we all need to stop speculating.

It’s none of our business. And it sure as hell isn’t our place to judge.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned since being married it’s this … nobody knows what goes on inside another person’s marriage.  Sure you THINK you do.  You see your friends  at dinner and then whisper to one another in the car on the way home,  “Never going to last. Did you see the way he just spoke to her? Have you ever seen those two crack a smile?” And we feel smug for the 5 minutes or so we’re not thinking about the issues in our own relationship. But speculation and gossip and assumptions mean nothing.  The only people who really know what’s going on inside a marriage are the two people in it.

Last week when Angelina Jolie revealed that she’d undertaken a double mastectomy, she also spoke of Brad Pitt’s incredible loyalty and the love he showed her during the entire process.  He sat with her and held her hand every step of the way through what I can only imagine is a confronting and harrowing experience. Six years ago I distinctly remember saying to someone that Brangelina wouldn’t last.  Not a chance!  Look at them!  Pfft.  Well, excuse me while I take another bite of humble pie. Because those two – so far – are showing signs of lasting the distance.

That’s why, these days, I’ve learned not to judge other couples. What the hell would I know about what goes on in their home?   And frankly, humble pie has too many calories to keep eating it.

Have you ever been in a relationship that people thought was wrong or wouldn’t last?  Ever been wrong about another couple?