By NATALIA HAWK
The other day, I got accosted by a centipede. I was camping, and it was just hanging out on my tent, clearly blocking my way out. I freaked out. I’m so bad with creepy crawlies, and this is really unfortunate, because they LOVE me. I think it’s because they can sense fear – like dogs – and I have LOTS of fear. So they target me, and feed off my distress.
As far as creepy crawlies go, however, centipedes are definitely amongst my favourites. Compared to some of the other possibilities out there, I positively welcome centipedes on my tent. Here are seven of my least-favourite creepy crawlies – feel free to laugh at my expense and then share your stories.
Just as an FYI, you should know that this series of posts is sponsored by Bosisto’s Dust Mite Spray. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.
1. Spiders
I was once driving home from babysitting at 2am on a school night (yeah, those parents liked to party hard). It was in the middle of summer, and so I rolled down the window of my car… only to see a giant, man-eating, zombie-apocalypse-level spider crawl his way straight into the car and disappear into the depths of the darkness.
I pulled the car over instantly, called my mum and told her that I was not driving any further that evening. Or possibly ever again. In fact, I was seriously considering setting my car on fire so that the spider would never be able to eat me alive. Luckily, mum came to collect me and save me from the spider. But it took me a long time to feel safe rolling a window down in my car again.
I don’t know anyone that likes spiders, and I don’t particularly want to know anyone who likes spiders. Of all the creepy crawlies, they’re the worst, because there is always the possibility of being poisoned by one. I have no tips for avoiding spiders except for maybe never getting in cars or, well, going anywhere where a spider might be, including your house, which isn’t entirely practical, so… maybe just move somewhere else, where the spiders aren’t very big. I hear they are particularly wimpy in the UK.
Top Comments
Being tickled. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. Torture me with hot coals, go to town with waterboarding, but tickle me and so help me God I will turn into Jack Bauer and kill you with my bare hands.
I've told this story before, but when I was 14 two grown men picked up my bare feet and tickled the soles. To say I went ballistic is an understatement. I reacted the same way a person would if they were being assaulted (and I would frankly have preferred that). I kicked one of them in the balls and broke the other one's nose. Then went into hysterics at what I had done as an absolutely instinctive reaction.
I'm reasonably tolerant of most things on this list. 1 - I once had to drive down a busy highway with a huntsman sitting on my knee! not quite sure how I managed that. But for the most part I'm ok with spiders, as long as they aren't in my bedroom. 2 - cockroaches are icky but easily killed, and thankfully you don't see them too often here in Canberra. 3 - never had head lice - to my knowledge. 4 - snakes are awesome! I am a bit weary of them in there on habitat, but unless you are about to step on or corner them they will leave you be. And when I've had the chance to touch them, they are so lovely. 4 - moths? they are harmless. 5 - I had two pet rats and they are charming little things, although super destructive - they ended up chewing a damn hole in my bathroom cabinet! But the street variety of rats are super disgusting. 6 dust mites? meh, they are useful I guess