"I just don't like romance. It's awkward".

Not every woman loves this stuff. Okay?

Christmas was coming, and so were grand displays of affection. Wine was being poured. Matching sweaters were being knitted. All I Want For Christmas is You was being serenaded. And I’m over here trying not to throw up.

I feel like the odd one out here, like I’m missing out on something that everyone else enjoys. But, the truth is, I think love is awkward, and I’m not alone. There are some women who just don’t like romance.

It’s not something we can all openly admit. If you tell someone you don’t like romance, they’ll actually look at you like you’re crazy. Apparently hating love is on the same calibre as hating puppies or Ellen DeGeneres (two things I will openly admit I love, actually.)

Before you ask, we don’t all avoid love like the plague. Hell, I’ve been with the same guy for four years – we just get that icky feeling when it comes to romance and affection.

Nothing makes us feel more uncomfortable than grand gestures of romance. No, not all women want you to tell them how beautiful they look after they’ve been at the gym – we all know that isn’t true. If you text us saying ‘Good morning princess’ we’ll probably block your number.

I think I realised my lack of affection was becoming a problem a few years ago. After a couple of months knowing her, one of my friends had no idea I had a boyfriend. To make matters worse, my boyfriend was actually a part of our friendship group. We all hung out every single day, yet no hint of a relationship was ever picked up on.

Oops.

I can’t seem to track where this hate-of-love came from. My sisters are quite affectionate, hugging each other goodbye while I stand 20 metres away and give them an awkward wave. When we were little my sister used to cuddle up to our dad and watch TV, however I was quite content sitting on my single-seat recliner.

My friend recently forced me to watch Dirty Dancing, and while she wiped away her tears and whimpered, “I love love,” I sat rigid in my chair, giggling uncomfortably at the over-the-top displays of affection. It’s started to become a joke – touch Bree and see how she reacts. It’ll usually be a flinch or a shriek, and I’ll get that gooey uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.

I know I’m starting to sound like an evil witch here but I just feel like romance is kind of…fake. Don’t get me wrong; I love a spontaneous night out or a cute hand-written card on my birthday, but I’m not going to swoon if you tell me my eyes glitter like a silver swan in a sparkling lake. My eyes are hazel. Come on man.

I think romance makes some of us vulnerable. We never want to be seen as weak – we’re independent women, dammit! A lot of us usually try to cover up rare acts of lovey-dovey weakness with an insult. Do we tell our boyfriends we love them? Sure, but we’ll usually slip in a ‘loser’ or ‘weirdo’ to make ourselves feel more comfortable about it.

If, like me, the idea of love makes you want to throw up into the nearest bouquet of flowers, there is a solution. Prince Charming will never be your cup of tea, but Prince Funny and Prince Honest will.

Nothing makes us love-haters laugh more than being told we look kinda funny when we wake up in the morning, or being called Casper when we haven’t fake tanned in a few weeks.

So men, if your lady laughed at you when you booked a six-course dinner date at a 34-floor revolving restaurant, or was mortified when you hired a “happy anniversary” flash mob, you’ve probably got an awkward lover on your hands.

If this is the case, and I can’t stress this enough, stop trying so hard.

Not all women expect you to spend all your money and drop everything to please them. Instead, ask them about their day. Actually hang your towel up in the bathroom (throwing it on the floor doesn’t count). Surprise them with a box of pizza and a funny movie. To me, honesty and simplicity are really refreshing, and make a trustworthy, transparent relationship.

Do you love romance?