Stop, or she'll squirt. There's a breast-milk bandit at large.

Okay. Get this.

A woman in central Germany has allegedly weaponised her womanly bits and used her breast milk to rob a pharmacy.

How did she do it, you ask? She lifted up her top and squirted her milk at the staff. Obviously.

Here’s how it went down, according to The Local.

“The mother entered the store at 4.25pm and asked to buy a breast pump, police reported.

But after handing over a €200-note to pay for her €20 purchase, she suddenly uncovered one breast and used her fingers to squirt milk from it at the pharmacist.

She then rummaged through the counter display and went to a second cash register.

Ignoring the pleas of staff and customers to cover herself up, she again rooted through the counter displays and unleashed a fresh spray of milk.

Apparently satisfied with her handiwork, she quickly left the pharmacy, leaving the breast pump behind.”

“Misdirection – they’re looking right and we’re running left…BOOM! We score, we win!”

The Pharmacists were so distracted by all the milk, they failed to notice the mugging and didn’t report the missing cash until they had counted the day’s takings.

Police officers described the woman’s antics as “almost unbelievable”.

Just like Sam the seagull, stealing these Dorritos.

The breast-milk bandit and Sam both remain at large.