By JAMILA RIZVI
I woke up this morning irrationally annoyed by news that international lawyer Amal Alammudin is taking her Hollywood husband’s George Clooney’s surname.
The litigator will from now on be known as Amal Clooney. Her name has been officially amended on the website of her law firm, Doughty Street Chambers. (The website has since crashed, because fame).
Let me provide some context for my illogical frustration at the perfectly reasonable decision of a woman I have never met nor am ever likely to meet. I am getting married in December and won’t be changing my surname.
This decision has prompted a whole range of responses when I’ve explained my choice to those who inquire. But the general gist goes like this: “Such a shame! It’s tradition!”, “Don’t you want your children to have the same name as you?”, “Oh that’s right, feminist!” “I suppose people know you by your current name” and “But then you’ll never get to be a Mrs!”
Here’s some pictures from Mr and Mrs Clooney’s wedding. The post continues after the gallery.
The reaction has annoyed me because I thought that in the 21st century, keeping your own name was a sensible and even normal thing to do. I’ve been quite surprised that the very vast majority of my married friends and colleagues change their surnames after marriage. To me it feels antiquated; a throwback to time passed.
And so, when this brilliant, famous lawyer who wears excellent frocks changed her name, I felt genuinely disappointed. I thought she was definitely a player for Team Keep Your Name. But I was wrong. How does it affect me? Not in the slightest. Do I care all the same? Abso-damn-lutely.
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I know this post is old, and I'm not trying to be rude to anyone with my comment, I'd like to make that known before I start. With that being said, I am completely lost as to how this woman changing her last name has anything to do with feminism. You can still be a feminist and have your husband's name. She doesn't need a reason to do it other than that is the name she chose to take. You saying that women choosing to take their husband's name are being dependent on men makes no sense. Saying that it's saying "no thanks" to all of the work that previous feminists did also makes no sense. Feminists fought to give women a choice. The choice to vote, the choice who to vote for, the choice to get married, and the list goes on and on. All that Mrs. Clooney did was exercise the choice that previous feminists made possible for her to have. She made the choice to change her last name. She chose to follow tradition, to take the last name of the man that she loves. The man that she plans on spending the rest of her life with. She chose to make the choice to connect all of the members of her future family. So can someone please explain to me how her making a choice isn't feminism?
I find it interesting that reading this comments section it has more people posting using their full names than most comment sections I've come across. Many people (obviously, myself included) chose to use nicknames online. Many login to systems using email addresses they've made up rather than their name, pay for things with a pin code (maybe not so much in America) than sign, and basically have their lives stored as numbers and characters in computers. I think the last time I signed my name was when I started my job, and since then I've become some random number on the system.
As the joke goes, "I got my new born a personalised car number plate. Their name is BD51SMR".
Our identities are made by our actions, not by a name our parents chose for us before we knew what our hands where for.
The lawyer in question has represented the state of Cambodia and the infamous Julian Assange. They're an adviser to the King of Bahrain in connection with the Bahrain Independent Commission of Inquiry, and as Counsel to the 2013 Drone Inquiry. Is she now going to be known for being with Dr Doug Ross, Matt Kowalski, Michael Clayton, etc? Will her getting the Elgin Marbles back be in Oceans Fourteen? Unlikely.
Growing up, I never thought about changing my name - even if I didn't really like it cos people mispell it - but then I never thought about getting married or having kids either. My wife did, and I love her more than some letters I rarely use. So her wanting to use my name (or keep her own) wouldn't have changed who she is or my feelings for her. Would anyone NOT marry the person they loved if THEY didn't want YOU to take THEIR name?
I also feel extremely honoured that she chose to give the children we have together that same surname. They will always be known as her kids; the mother/child relationship is the strongest on the planet, she's known them nine months more than me, her body is emotionally attuned to them and they will always be a part of her.
While most guys take a lot longer to become a "dad", if at all.
If your partner decides to show the world that you're the father by giving them your name - and ultimately it is her decision - it's a sign of trust that shouldn't be taken lightly. You're more than just a sperm donor, she's chosen you as a big part of the childs life and with that comes responsibility.