The 10 Most Annoying People At The Supermarket

We all know that a visit to the supermarket is an unavoidable pain in the arse necessity. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you fit into this crazy world, the only thing that differs when it comes to a grocery shop, is the consistency in which you have to do so.

If like me, you seem to find yourself there almost every single day because you’ve run out of Milo or milk or spaghetti sauce or toilet paper AGAIN, then you have also probably noticed that there is a distinct lack of etiquette and manners when it comes to the supermarket shop.

After having a trolley repeatedly rammed into my ankles last night, I decided that once and for all, it was time that we should have a set of rules that we are all obligated to follow. So, to make it a more pleasurable experience for not just myself but for everyone who finds themselves in the same situation, I have come up with the following Ten golden rules for Grocery Shopping.

1. Do not take your ticket at the deli counter and then proceed to stand in front of said ticket machine.

Just move along people, preferably down towards the weird looking sausages and most importantly, out of my way.

2. Be aware of your place in the queue.

While we're talking about the deli, if the ticket machine is out of order or there isn't one, be aware of who was there before you. And don’t pretend you didn’t see me, I’m onto you.

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3. Try ALL the free samples!

There is no shame in trying the free samples. Also, don't feel obliged or pretend you're going to buy the product. In fact, go back for seconds if you missed lunch. I guarantee you that the person demonstrating it will be just be happy that someone is making eye contact with them.

4. Unleash your ‘Resting Bitch Face’ when necessary

This is especially appropriate when the checkout chick comments on the contents of your supermarket trolley. Actually yes, I do require super sized tampons, 17 bags of salt and vinegar chips and a jumbo sized Kitkat to make it through the night. What of it?

5. Try the grapes. Then try some more (just to be sure)

There is no shame in grape sampling. Let's face it, you need to know if they are sour and the only way to determine this is a taste test. If a couple more samples are needed to verify this throughout the duration of your shop, then so be it.

6. Don't leave your trolley abandoned

If you leave your trolley abandoned and straddling the the aisle, and then take off up the other end in search of the oyster sauce, then ramming said trolley is totally acceptable.

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7. Read the magazines at the checkout

If you have to wait in line because the supermarket is too stingy to open up more checkouts, then it is totally fine to scan as many publications as you can within that time, and then return them to the shelves without purchasing.

8. Learn to count

12 Items or less does not mean 48 items or less. Sure, a few items over is fine but COME ON, don't drive your fully loaded trolley up to that cashier and pretend it’s cool. We all know it’s not.

9. Do not take trolleys into the self-service area

Do not take a fully loaded trolley into the self serve area. It’s the equivalent of reverse parking into a car spot when 16 people are needlessly waiting behind you. Just, no.

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10. Keep left unless overtaking

Finally, keep left unless overtaking. Just like a on the road, unless you need to overtake someone who is slower than you, keep left in the aisles and we’ll all get along just fine.

Have we missed any? What rule would you like to see that would make your supermarket shop less painful?