A new study has confirmed: There are too many studies.

Stop doing studies, people.

How many times have you heard/read/said this week: “A new study has shown…”

Well, this just in: A new study has shown that scientists are so oversaturated by studies and research results, that they are finding it hard to retain information from studies that could otherwise impact their work.

In other words: Too many studies are spoiling the broth.

But much more important.

Speaking of studies: A study has shown that younger siblings are the better ones, pretty much.

This study of studies was published by researchers in California and Finland (they’re friends? Who knew?!). They proved that scientists forget statistics from recent studies they’ve read much more quickly than old studies they have studied.

“We found that this has to do with the exponential growth in the number of publications, which inevitably accelerates the turnover of papers, due to the finite capacity of scholars to keep track of the scientific literature.” The study of studies concluded.

So. Much. Studying.

It also must have a disheartening effect on the scientists, knowing that any study they produce is probably going to be just one more studious drop in the ocean of studies. But don’t despair, professors. Keep up the good work. We believe in you.

Study on, scientists. Study on.