There is now SCIENTIFIC PROOF: Once a cheater, always a cheater.

By ROSIE WATERLAND

A study has today revealed that if your current partner left somebody to be with you, they’re probably going to leave you to be with somebody else.

So basically, science has finally proven what Rachel Green’s mum told her all those years ago:

And if the words ‘science’ and ‘study’ are used to describe something, you know it must be true.

A study in the Journal of Research in Personality looked at a bunch of people who had been ‘mate poached’ (that’s science-talk for ‘stolen by somebody else’). It was found that people who had been mate poached into a new relationship were always looking for a better relationship to be mate poached into:

“Across three studies, we observed reliable evidence that individuals who were poached by their current romantic partners were less committed, less satisfied, and less invested in their relationships. They also paid more attention to romantic alternatives, perceived their alternatives to be of higher quality, and engaged in higher rates of infidelity compared to non-poached participants.”

So there you have it. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Did we really need science to tell us that, though? I could’ve saved them a lot of time and written this study in five minutes. Observe:

Rosie’s Scientific Study on Cheaters

Hypothesis:

If they did it with you, they’ll do it to you.

Evidence:

I once dated a guy who had left every girlfriend he’d ever been with to be with the next one. I never thought I would be a ‘mate poacher’, but he spent so much time telling me how unhappy he was with his girlfriend and how the relationship was over and how he was just waiting for the right time and blah blah blah I was such a fucking idiot. And even though I felt like a dick for ‘stealing’ someone’s man (which I absolutely was), I was convinced I had done the right thing because he ‘loved’ me so much. I never dreamed that he would do to me what he done to all the others.. I believed that right up until the moment he ‘loved’ someone else so much that he left me to be with her. Her and her stupid face.

Conclusion:

I am brilliant and my hypothesis was perfect and correct.

BAM. Science.

Or you could, you know, go off the legitimate study or whatever. Either way, if you know somebody who is yet to learn this important lesson and is currently headed for some serious heartbreak at the hands of a selfish knobcloud, then maybe pass this post onto them. Be subtle about it, obviously, but get it done.

Science has finally proven what everybody who’s been cheated on has known since the beginning of time:

A leopard can never be… um, a leopard won’t… something? Ugh, fuck it:

CHEATERS ARE MASSIVE CHEESE-WANGS WHO WILL NEVER CHANGE.

Science says so.

 h/t i09

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