The 5 things that definitely (probably, maybe) happened at North West's baptism yesterday.

Our invite got lost in the mail so we’ve just had to use our extensive imagination.

North West was a child of Yeezus and she is now officially a child of Jesus.

On their whirlwind tour of the Middle East, the Kardashian-Wests made a quick pit-stop to dunk little baby North’s head in a bowl of water during a special baptism ceremony at the Saint James Cathedral in Jerusalem.

Although we can’t confirm, we assume this also involved a million-dollar ceremony, complete with star studded guest list, red carpet and after party.

We’ve also taken a few liberties in assuming what else went down at the event.

Related: The Internet’s most hilarious responses to Kim Kardashian’s new hair.

1. Kris was on the phone to the priest managing the whole thing.

The Pacific ocean is no barrier for a “Mom-ager”. Kris Jenner was no doubt screaming specific instructions for how the ceremony should go down the phone.

2. At least 3000 selfies were taken. North was cut out of all of them.

In standard Kardashian style the event would have been extensively documented through selfies which will be published in hardback, coffee-table book-form in the coming weeks.

3. Kanye interrupted the ceremony after realising there was too much focus on North.

“Imma let you finish getting baptised but our marriage was the best church event OF ALL TIME.”

4. The Holy water was filled with flakes of gold and the tears of Beyonce.

The Kimye wedding was nothing short of epic so it’s only natural their baby’s special day is the same. We’re thinking unicorn rides, diamond-diapers and Kanye might have even cracked a smile.

5. North pulled a Fashion Week-level tantrum because she couldn’t wear black.

She may be 22 months old but North is pretty sartorially savvy and she knows that white baptism gown was just so NOT her.

We also assume Khloe Kardashian was her hilarious self because she is the best Kardashian.