"Condoms helped my lesbian relationship. Who would've thought?"

By COURTNEY BECK

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Who would have thought that a condom company could positively influence a lesbian relationship? Well, it happened and here’s how.

Over a month ago, my partner Jules and I signed up for the Durex 30 Nights Of Nookie program, and it made us both take a long hard look at our lives and the time that we spend together.

We realised pretty quickly that we are full to the brim with obligations that take up most of our time. Four weeks of the year we get holidays (what are those again?), and two days within the week we get a weekend, if we’re not already otherwise engaged on the nine-year-old birthday party circuit. Most of the time, it’s pretty much the same day-in and day-out.

We know we have a problem finding time for us, but what about you?

How much time do you dedicate to your relationship?

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Durex. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.

If you’re struggling to think about the last time you had quality time with your partner, then I’d strongly suggest that it’s time for a change.

Unfortunately for us busy types that is generally not an easy fix, especially when getting enough sleep so you can actually get through the week is priority number one. We all know that is no way to live, but what can we do about it? And if there is already not enough time in our days, how can we find the time to spend with our partners?

As human beings, we are genetically programmed to look for a mate. It’s all we think about until we find them; we’re obsessed! Then once we find them, we become very good at putting them on the backburner while we do other mundane tasks like cooking, cleaning and working. All which have to be done, but the apple of our eye has already taken second position to the least sexy parts of our life.

Sometimes you have sex, but only if you’re in the right mood, you’re not tired, you don’t have your period etc etc. This problem has obviously been around since the dawn of time, however I can’t help but think that in modern society we have become so consumed by living to work that we’ve forgotten how to work to live.

It doesn’t have to be this way though. We can go renegade. You know, screw with the system. We don’t have to accept that there is no time. We can make a choice to steal some time back. We’ve earned it, right?

A word to the wise: If I’ve learnt one thing during this program it’s that in order to steal back time, you have to be stealth about it. No one likes change, especially little people and even more so when it means they need to get to bed on time. Taking time back will always involve taking it from somewhere or someone else, but it’s important that you do it, for your relationship.

Sit down and plan with your partner what needs to change in your routine in order to free that time up. Rome wasn’t built in a day and small daily changes add up to bigger lifestyle changes over time. Trust us, it’s worth it.

If I may share with you one other major thing that I learnt whilst taking part in the program, it is this: Be present with your partner. 15 minutes of quality time with no phones and no distractions is better than hours together on a couch watching TV. Quality time is good for your soul, your relationship and your sex life.

Being part of this program has been one of the best decisions we’ve ever made. Not because we’ve had sex for 30 nights, because we didn’t. It’s been a whole series of life lessons about how no matter what life throws at you, you’ve got to throw it right back and protect the good things you’ve got in your life. Your relationship is the partnership you’ve chosen, and it needs to be strong so that the other facets of your life may flourish.

It’s early days and we’re still learning, but 30 Nights Of Nookie has definitely taught us more than a thing or two about making more room for love.

Everyone’s busy – so how do you make time for your relationship? 

Here are a few of our favourite on-screen moments of passion. 

Developed with one of the country’s top relationship experts, Jacqueline Hellyer, the Durex 30 Nights of Nookie programme is a free, month-long challenge specifically designed to bring Aussie couples – at all stages of their relationship – closer together.

Find out more and register now at www. 30nightsofnookie.com.au 

For more information on Durex visit www.durex.com or visit the Durex Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/Durex.Australia      

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