I currently live in a share house in London with 5 other men (boys?) in their mid-20s.
Every evening they can be found either:
a. Watching soccer.
b. Playing Xbox.
c. Talking about soccer.
d. Eating take away.
e. A combination of b,c and d.
This house is equal parts crazy and marvelous – but I diverge!
On Friday, I came home to an extremely raucous poker party. There were cards and chips and testosterone flying everywhere. The music was up and the beer was flowing. I grabbed one and joined the girls on the couch. Nice.
Between poker hands, the ad came on.
It literally brought the party to a standstill and then tore it in two. I believe the comment was, “Oh come on! It’s 20 per cent the girl’s fault.” At first, I thought it was a (sick) joke. But he went on… “Leading a guy into a bedroom can only mean one thing.” One of the young women sitting beside me partly agreed, “It’s definitely rape, but that girl shouldn’t be so naïve.”
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After landing on this page I have come to realise one fact in this country, that Australia as a country, whether intentional or not intentional, is currently allowing rapists to flourish and continue devastating innocent girls lives. I was in a busiiness partnership where eventually it was revealed to me that my ex business partner was a rapist of the worst kind.
Working in the hospitality industry at night, he seeked out his victims and knew what type of character to prey on to increase his chances of them not coming forward.
After reading a few victims comments below, I now fully understand why. Victims blames themselves for these animals actions and for whatever reason I will never understand because i am a male and will probably never live the experience. I also have a daughter and I will single handedly start the process in creating a non for profit organisation to initially raise awareness to ensure that any women who have been affected by this devastating crime should not blame themselves for one millisecond and to immediately report these inhumans to the police before they get the opportunity to do it again.
My ex business partner had been getting away with it for 8 years once it got revealed to me and I snapped out of the spell he had me under which made me believe his lies.
After It was revealed to me, to say my life went into meltdown would be an understatement, as when i told him of my decision to dissolve the partnership and as to why, he then went to great lengths to cause my demise and cripple me financially to ensure i was not able to re establish myself again with my new venture. This caused me to publicly name and shame him out of sheer rage and anger on public forums and even after doing that, knowing what i know and how many girls have been bought to my knowledge that he has ruined their lives, not one has come forward.
He is still out there, with an opportunity to continue his trail of devastation on innocent girls lives.
I am still currently trying to establish my new business to be able to provide for my family, and once i have a steady income coming in once again, i will be looking for support and any assistance i can get to raise an awareness campaign and establish an information resource online to assist women in coming forward to ensure these animals are stopped and punished accordingly.
Everyone needs to take a stand now. If everyone in this forum alone, took one action to either alert the authorities if they have been personally affected or if they know of a rapist roaming the streets, post the link of this website on their facebook page, one thing, anything, as your actions may potentially stop a rapist from carrying his disgusting crime on an innocent victim.
The grey are between sexual assault and rape for me doesnt exist. For me calling them a rapist is paying them a compliment, because the word doesn't exist for what these animals are.
I have informed the authorities of what i know,
i have donated money to white ribbon to help them in their cause regarding violence against women, I will be raising an awareness campaign on the issue. If anyone can help me by letting me know if there is something else i can do, please reply to this post and give me the opportunity please to try and prevent this from happening to anyone every again.
not just in australia
I think it is a grey area and if that's rape than many, many girls (including me) have been raped. When you are crying and wanting it to stop but you dont scream or push them off you. When they are so drunk or out of it they simply dont notice your distress. I don't think it's right but I'm not sure it's rape.
"when you are crying and wanting it to stop"
Yes, that is rape. Doesn't sound very 'grey area' to me.
How a victim reacts to a crime does not define a crime.
Just because you're scared or don't know what to do or shocked so don't push or scream, especially when you know the guy, that doesn't stop the fact that you've said no and that you're visibly upset and an unwilling participant. That's not grey area at all. That is rape.
Another example: If somebody starts hitting you and bashing you on the street, and you don't fight back, does that mean you weren't assaulted? Of course not. That's assault, regardless of how the victim acts.
That's why my earlier comment was re it being a good ad for girls too to educate them that it's not a grey area and that they CAN say a firm and loud NO! Why should anyone be forced to have sex when they don't want to because they think it's a 'grey area'??!
If the guy can't hear you I wouldn't expect them to keep checking you're still 'into it' as they would have no indication you're not. In my opinion it's not rape.