I remember the excitement of dating new boyfriends. There was the anticipation of the evening ahead. There were butterflies in my stomach. There was the anxiety about choosing the right clothes, hairstyle and shoes. Where would the evening lead? Would there be a kiss? Would there be a sleepover? Would there be any expression of love? Most importantly, was this man The One?
Dating my husband isn’t the same. After all, I know that The Architect is The One. I’ve been living with him for fifteen years. I wake up with him every morning. I watch him brush his teeth. I put his dirty undies into the washing machine. I think it’s understandable if I don’t get butterflies at the thought of being alone with him on a Saturday night.
Still, a marital date isn’t inferior to a date with a new man. It’s just different. More familiar. Less stimulating. Okay, so maybe it’s a little bit inferior . . .
New Man Date: The preparation can be thrilling, if a little bit nerve-racking.
Marital Date: The preparation is exhausting. I need to summon up the energy to get dressed and leave the house, having run around after the kids all day. Quite frankly, I’d rather be at home sleeping.
New Man Date: I look forward to learning more about the new man.
Marital Date: I’ve just seen my man on the toilet. What else is there to learn?
New Man Date: The date may be expensive, but it’s worth it.
Marital Date: The date will be ridiculously prohibitive. Not only is there the cost of the evening itself – the movie, the dinner, the drinks, the parking – but there is also the cost of the babysitter. These additional expenses put huge pressure on us both to Have a Good Time (‘Are we having sixty dollars’ worth of fun yet?’), leading to expectations that often cannot be fulfilled.
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The Quicky
Top Comments
my boyfriend and i have been together for three years and sometimes its great if every few weeks we just have a few days where we don't call each other, usually because we're both in a busy patch. once we see each other again it's really refreshing and we are so excited to see each other. we're moving in together next year and i'm going to miss this. suggestions?
Very funny, I had to laugh at a few of these, but i really love going out with my hubby alone. Now the kids are old enough to stay at home with no babysitter( they cant wait for us to leave so they can play loud music, watch any tv, eat junk food) We make it a rule to not talk about any child related issues or work. I find myself keeping snippets of info to talk about when we are out alone. We can relax at dinner and take our time, no running back to the house or worrying about an early morning because they are old enough to fix their own breakfast or sleep in even. i love getting dressed up for these dates, because we see each other everyday it is special to dress up for each other, I sometimes get a special outfit just for the occasion. I remember not being able to imagine a family where the kids were older, but it has arrived!!!