When did you leave home? Or are you still there? Much has been said about the fact that Gen Y are stubbornly refusing to be shoved out of their comfy nests. But why? Is it really because their parents have pandered to their every whim in the hope of keeping them close? Or are economic pressures making it impossible to go it alone?
Today, Mamamia reader and contributor Lucy Ormonde, who is indeed 23, casts some light for us on being Gen Y and leaving home, or rather staying at home. She writes
Six years out of high school, in another time or another country I’d be married with a couple of kids. But at 23-years-old I’m childless, unattached and I still live at home.
And that’s fine with me.
In the past few years, a favourite topic amongst newsreaders and newspapers has been Gen Ys, like myself, who are staying at home longer than what was previously known as ‘normal.’ If you believe everything you hear, we’re selfish, we’re spoilt and we’re lazy. We play too much X-Box and we like living at home if only for the laundry facilities. We’re kidults (yes that is a word) and we’re delaying adulthood by refusing to grow up.
Well, I don’t agree.
I live with my mum. It’s just the two of us and it works. I don’t have an X-Box, I can do my own washing and I boil a mean pot of pasta. Many of my friends – who have jobs and know how to use stoves – also live at home with their parents.
.
So let’s get down to the facts of why Y.
Like careers, marriage and having children, moving out is just another part of life that’s being delayed in this ironically fast and crazy world. Gen Ys are not lazy. They’re just living a life that takes a vastly different path than it did 10, 20 or 50 years ago. Gone are the days when parents patted their 18-year-old children on the back and showed them the way to the front gate. The dynamics of parent-child relationships are changing and nowadays staying at home is accepted, albeit encouraged, by the parents who house us.
There are many reasons for us to stay at home, most of which are based on money. Unlike those before us, we’re entering the workforce in an era that’s synonymous with an impossible-to-break-into housing market, high university debts and low cost airline carriers. Gen Ys aren’t silly. We’ve realised we can save hundred of dollars a week in rent and instead we’re putting in it high interest savings accounts (or spending it on clothes and the aforementioned Jetstar.)
We get the best of both worlds when we live at home. We live independent lives but come home to the warmth of the family house. It’s kind of like Packed to the Rafters but with less perfect bed hair. Sure we live with our parents, but this doesn’t mean that as the younger generation we act as children. No. That luxury ended around the same time our pocket money did.
Our parents aren’t our “parents” anymore. They’re more like our friends, roommates even. If they really wanted us to move out they’d charge us rent or find the number of a good locksmith. But they like having us at home as much as we like being there. They can, and do, relinquish household duties and assign them to us. And they LOVE having IT assistance only a shout away down the hall.
Of course living at home has its less than perfect moments. There’s having to introduce boyfriends to your parents earlier than would otherwise be required. And then there’s reintroducing them at the breakfast table. But that’s just what I like to call being part of a modern family.
I love living at home. I like the comfort. I like the interaction. And yes, I like the little the perks that come with being an adult, but not the adult in the family home. Like expensive cheeses in the fridge and the absence of water and electricity bills. I like the bedding. My friend Pippa likes having pets without responsibility. My friend Meg likes the shower gel. (Meg has just moved home after a two-year renting stint, showering with brand-less soap.)
Will I ever move out? Of course I will, but finding the right time will be difficult. I need to do it when it’s right for me and not by a general opinion of what’s ‘normal.’ For now, I don’t see what the rush is. I could prove my independence and rent an apartment, but my independent reality would be far from an episode of The Secret Life of Us. Also, if move out my mum will be living on her own. While she’s fine with that, it doesn’t sit well with me.
And besides, why would I move out when the laundry facilities are this good?
When did you move out of home ? Was it your decision or your parents? And if you have kids at home – do you think you will want them to leave when they finish school?
Top Comments
I love this post and don't know how I missed it when I was first put up. So I shall comment on it anyway even though it was put up a while ago.
I'm turning 19 at the end of March and definately still live at home. I'm moving back in with my dad in the next week, and have bounced between my mum and my dad's place the last few years, depending on who's place my parents thought was better for me to be living in at the time, eg. mum's doing a lot of shift work this year and you're going into year 12, you need to go stay with dad.
My mum moved out when she was 16. Home was safe, but emotionally trying. Her view has always been that it's appropriate to live at home until your mid twenties, and she's made it very clear she won't be happy if I move out without significant savings. Shit happens, and you have to pay for it. My parents also can't afford to support me financially in any way other then the odd twenty every now and then if I move out.
I have paid board since I was 16 years old, regardless of whether I was living with mum or dad.
I must say that I don't agree with young adults who work, study and live at home without board. It's lazy, regardless of how many chores they do around the house. Of course, work changes and sometimes the board amount needs to be adjusted, but board should always be paid. I think it's just basic respect and consideration.
I'm not jealous of people how live away from home and are financially supported by their parents. I lived in the country and if you want to go to uni, you have to move. A few of my friends are moving for uni in the next month,
and I know one of them will be supported by her parents, and good on them for being able to do that. But after a few months to settle in, she will be expected to get a job and cover some of her own costs.
I think everyone's situation in different, but pampering is never a good way. to go. You can live at home and still learn valuable life lessons. But not if you have everything handed to you for years on end.
I found this posting by searching "I live at home." I am 23, going on 24, and I still live at home. I do not save money for travel or expensive junk (to each his own). I am trying to get my masters so I can get a good job, and the job market is very competitive. I have a part-time job at a library, and in order to be promoted I have to have my degree, unless I can find a full-time job with a bachelors, and those are very few and far between. I want to be a librarian because I love working there and it is what I want; I am not about to sacrifice all of that just because I should have some kind of "real" experience that society places on young people, and I told myself I would do whatever it takes or work however long to be happy. My parents both work jobs they were forced into and I am grateful that I am able to have the room and support to pursue what I want in life. It doesn't take a genius to pay utility bills, only someone who makes enough money to do so. It is very hard to do that in today's current condition. Ten or twenty years ago, it would have been easier for me to graduate and get a job. I am not spoiled and I work very hard to achieve my goals. Please don't judge people who live at home.